“We—I—He—went down on me this morning.”
My words hang in the air above us, threatening to suffocate me, until Rosie breaks the cloud with a squeal.
“Did it feel good?”
I nod, unable to hold back the smile dancing its way across my lips as I remember just how fucking good it felt. Addictive.
“So, what happens now between the two of you?”
“He’s away with his family for the weekend, celebrating his birthday, but he said he’d call when he gets a chance,” I say. “I-I’m going to tell him about my celibacy.”
“Are you nervous?”
I nod. “I’m scared he’s just going to be like every other man I’ve gone on a date with. Running for the hills when they hear about my celibacy. But what can I do? I can’t control the outcome, or Hudson’s actions…”
Although, I bloody wish I could.
“He’s not going to do that, Gee.”
I run the tip of my tongue along the straight edge of my two front teeth. “We don’t know that for certain, Ro.”
“Don’t stress it, okay?” she replies, hands coming to smooth over the tension building in my shoulders. “He cares about you. He likes you; hewantsyou. It’s as obvious as broad daylight. Plus, any man who willingly gives away the chance to be with you isn’t worth a second of your time, Giselle.” She rolls her eyes. “All because they’re scared of putting in a little work into building a relationship, rather than just fucking around. God, I amsickto the back teeth of hearing that shitty excuse.”
“Me too,” I agree, swallowing back the forming lump in my throat because I fear that’s exactly what Hudson is looking for.
The words he’d said to me flitter back into my mind –just a little bit of fun… It doesn’t have to be complicated, Giselle –leaving my stomach hollow.
I wish I could voice my fear to my best friend, but every time I try, the words get stuck in my throat, drying up until I feel like I’m choking.
Rosie squeezes my hands. “He’d be the most stupidest man in the entire world to lose you, Gee, and I’m not just saying that because I’m your best friend and entirely biased.”
At that, I let out a small giggle, squeezing her fingers back and hoping to shake away the residual nervous energy hanging onto me.
“Yeah.” I exhale slowly, disturbing the edges of my long fringe. “I know he’s attracted to me, it’s just… I hope there’s something more there, you know?”
“Trust, Gee.” Rosie smiles widely. “Sometimes fate can be a real bitch, but sometimes, just sometimes, she can be as gentle hearted as the rest of us.”
Chapter 15
Giselle
After my chat with Rosie, I head into my meditation studio, roll out my purple yoga mat, slick a fresh layer of lavender oil onto my inner wrists and run through a handful of stretches to get both my mind and body into a state of calm. It does no good to be in the wrong frame of mind while I’m preparing to teach.
Over the course of a couple of hours, I lead three back-to-back meditation classes, until the strong scent of vanilla and sandalwood, which is drifting in a thin stream out of my incense stick, feels permanently ingrained in my nose.
After the last member of my class has disappeared through the door, I stand to my full height, flexing my toes and relishing in the soft foam feel of my mat beneath my flesh, the rush of fresh blood flowing through my body. A numb patch of static radiating through one of my calves, a sure sign I’ve been sitting in the same position for too long.
Stepping off my mat in an attempt to stretch my muscle and alleviate the cramp, I cross the floor to stub out the incense stick and give a few of the spare yoga mats, which have been used today, a wipe down with an antibacterial cloth.
It’s habit to check my phone after I’ve finished up, noting, with the beginnings of a pit in my stomach, the lack of notifications.
With a near violent shove, I push the negative feeling away. Out of my mind. Out of my body.
I need to get a grip.
It’s Hudson’s birthday for crying out loud; he’s spending time with his family. I don’t expect him to be on his phone all day, pining after me like a lovesick puppy. So why should I be bothered that I haven’t heard from him? He said he’d call when he got a chance and I believe him. Enough said.
Throwing my phone back into my bag, wishing I’d never looked at the thing in the first place, I lock up the door to my studio, waving goodbye to Rex, who stands by the treadmills, coaching one of his clients.
