“I dunno. Do you?”
He thatches his fingers and taps them against his lips. “It’s…unconventional. Do I have a problem with it? No. But I have no vested interest in who you’re with, especially as you’re not interested in me.”
I sip some lemonade.
“You’d be naive to believe you won’t face any pushback from anyone. You almost certainly will. Not from everyone, mind, but there will be people who don’t care about the context. People who hear the words ‘stepbrother’ and ‘relationship’ and instantly go into disgust mode.”
I can imagine Barry doing that. Would Mum? Would Jacob’s mum? I hope my friends are more open-minded, like me, but until I tell them, I won’t know for sure.
I grimace. “Jacob’s an assistant bank manager. Our relationship won’t affect his job, will it?”
Regan shrugs. “That will depend on his manager. Itshouldn’t.”
I slump in my chair.
“Not the perspective you wanted?” Regan asks.
“I guess I’m starting to understand why Jacob is so desperate to keep our relationship secret, and it sucks.”
“I think the big question is,ifgoing public with your relationship does cause a storm, do you think the two of you could weather it together?”
A tight knot of emotion lodges in my throat. “I don’t know.”
“You need to figure that out. If the answer is no, you should walk away before you lose your heart to him.”
My chest aches. “I think it might be too late for that.”
“Do you love him?”
Do I? I’ve never been in love with anyone. Love is a funny concept that everyone talks about but no one can explain. Do I think about Jacob all the time? Yes. Do I miss him when he’s not around? Yes. Does he make me smile and laugh? Does he make my heart flutter and my skin tingle? Yes and yes and yes. Does it hurt to think of this thing with him ending? Yes.
“Maybe,” I whisper.
“Is he worth potential heartache?”
I meet Regan’s stare. “Yes. He’s amazing. Not that he knows it, but he is. It’s crazy because we’re opposites in so many ways. But we click, y’know? We work together.”
A muffled ringtone emanates from Regan’s pocket. He takes his phone out and waves it in my direction. “And that’s my summons from Will. He’s puking his guts up and needs someone to hold his hair. I’m sorry. I’ve got to go.”
“You’re a good friend.”
He grins. “I try.” He stands. “People love to judge. But if you and Jacob stand firm and show everyone how happy you makeeach other, the haters will soon shut the fuck up. Good luck.” He waves and heads off, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Chapter 19
Jacob
We spend two more days cooped up in the villa, unable to touch, barely able to speak, before going on our planned trip to the Red Canyon. We enjoy a full day in each other’s company, being as tactile as we want, without fear of Dad or Molly catching us in the act.
The first stop is the town of Santa Lucía de Tirajana, where I buy a handwoven shawl for Mum. The highlight of the trip is a walk through a narrow ravine, which has been eroded by water, creating patterns in the rock walls.
A few familiar faces from the rainforest tour join us, including the family with the teenage break-up drama. From their loud discussion, I gather that the daughter has got back together with her boyfriend. For most of the trip, her mother loudly declares what a bad idea it is and that he’s not good enough for her precious girl.
As with the first trip, it’s fantastic until it ends. A sense of weariness settles over me on our way back. Knowing it’s self-inflicted makes it worse.
We kiss goodbye before we leave the coach and don’t touch again on the walk to the villa. I hate it. Why am I such a coward? At least we have the volcano tour to look forward to. My heartraces whenever I think about watching the sunset with Archer. It’s going to be amazing.
The morning of the volcano trip, I’m up early but don’t leave my room until it’s time to walk to the pickup point. I find Archer in the kitchen, leaning against the breakfast bar, sipping coffee.
