I hold Archer’s hand and run my thumb over it.
“I’m sorry.” He turns his hand and threads his fingers through mine. “I’ll shut up now.”
I hug him to me and kiss his temple. “I don’t ever want you to shut up.”
He’s right about all of it.
“Barry was wrong to go.” Molly’s voice is wobbly and uncertain. “He was wrong to accuse you of using Archer.”
“You believe I didn’t?”
“You looked me in the eyes and told me you weren’t using Archer, and I believed you. I’m sorry.”
I blink at her. “Why are you apologising?”
“That your dad wouldn’t see sense. That he’s not here.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I’m sorry your mum got hurt because we-we?—”
I wasn’t expecting that. “You should be apologising to Mum. Not me.”
“Maybe I’ll get the chance to one day.”
“Maybe. One day. Right now, I think she still wants to scratch out your eyes. No offence.”
Molly lets out a fragile, watery laugh. “None taken.” She lifts her head, rolls her shoulders back, and wipes the tears from her eyes. “There are a few days of the holiday left. We should enjoy it to the full.”
Can I, now Dad has decided to leave rather than accept my and Archer’s relationship? I clasp my hands. Emotion overwhelms me. My shoulders shudder, and tears drip down my cheeks.
Archer holds me tight.
“He hates me.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t,” Molly says feebly.
“That’s what he said.”
It was one thing telling Archer I was done living my life to please Dad. It’s another sitting here, knowing he’s left because of my actions. Because I chose to see Archer. Because I chose to love Archer. I shouldn’t care. I should be relieved he’s saved me the bother of telling him to fuck off out of my life. But would I have done that when all was said and done? Or would I have tried to bridge the gulf that’s formed between us? Now, that gulf feels insurmountable. Because he chose to walk away.
“It hurts,” I whisper and choke at the same time.
“He doesn’t deserve you,” Archer says.
He’s right. But for all the times Dad has put me down, picked fault in what I’ve said and done, or belittled me, I still love him. Maybe I shouldn’t, but I do.
I brush the tears from my eyes and focus on Molly. “Are you okay?”
Her chin wobbles. “This wasn’t how I envisaged the holiday going. I wanted us to get closer as a blended family. Things blowing up the way they have is partly my fault. I shouldn’t have pushed everyone to get along. And now Barry is gone, and everyone’s so upset. How am I supposed to fix this?” She wrings her hands.
“You can’t fix everything, Mum,” Archer says.
“I suppose not. You’ll want to share a room for the rest of the holiday, won’t you?”
I hadn’t thought about it. I hadn’t thought past finding out what Dad had to say to me, which was apparently nothing at all.
“You’ve been careful, haven’t you?”
