“What’s on your mind?”
“We’ve known each other for a year, but only online. We haven’t been sleeping together for long, but it’s more intense than anything I’ve experienced. From the moment I first praised Haru, I haven’t been able to think of anything but him and the things he enjoys. The things we could do together. It’s intoxicating.”
“Have you told him that?”
I shake my head.
“Maybe you should.”
“Communicate?”
“And be honest. You need to be on the same page, not just about the kinky stuff you want to explore but also about how casual your relationship is.”
“We agreed to be exclusive last night. God, that makes us sound like teenagers.”
“And you got tested today, which means you must want to go bare with him.”
I nod and swallow. “On Saturday, he—I—”
“No need for embarrassment. I can almost guarantee if you’ve thought of it, I’ve done it.”
Right. Mick has been into kink for longer than me.
“He asked me to empty the contents of the condom onto him. It was sexy. I’ve never wanted to go bare with a guy, but that made me want it so bad. Fuck. Am I rushing into things?”
“Does it feel right?”
“Yes. And it’s not just about sex. We talk. For hours, sometimes. Even when we were chatting online, I looked forward to talking to him every day, even if it was to ask him how his day had gone.”
Mick leans back in his chair and drinks his beer, smiling.
“What?”
He shrugs and has another drink.
I scowl.
“Is there anything specific you want advice on?” he asks.
“How do I know I’m doing it right and not fucking up?”
“Haru will tell you, either by using safewords or by an open and frank conversation afterwards. It turns out Lily and I have different pain tolerances. She flogged me how she likes to be flogged, and it was too much. I had to safeword. We talked about it, and she made sure to pull her blows the next time.” He grins as he drinks more beer. “Bet you didn’t think it would be that way around.”
“Thanks for being so open with me.”
“Is it helping?”
“Yes.”
“Lily and I talk scenes through in advance. It doesn’t have to be a big conversation. Just I’m going to do X, Y, and Z. Are you happy with that? But even when you’ve discussed a scene in detail, there might be a reason one or both of you needs to stop it. You can safeword too.”
“I know.”
“You can plan something, but you never know how you’re going to feel about it in the moment. That goes for something brand new as well as things you’ve done dozens of times. There’s never any shame in using a safeword. Take care of Haru. Only push his limits with prior agreement and never, ever, ignore them.”
I recall what Haru told me about the guy who ridiculed instead of praising him. “I’d never do anything to hurt him.”
“Then you’re unlikely to fuck up. As for doing it right, that’s subjective, my friend. You’ll figure out what works for you as a couple.”
