Kyle sets his jaw into a hard line. “I hope I never run into him.”
“Unlikely. But I appreciate you getting all protective. It’s hot.”
“I’m surprised his actions didn’t put you off being tied up. I’d have been terrified.”
“I was angry rather than scared. I’d trusted him, and he’d abused that. And yes, it did put me off for a while.”
“What changed?”
“Being submissive and needing to be praised is a huge part of my identity. I’m more careful now than I was.”
“In what way?” Kyle shakes his head. “I don’t mean to pry.”
“It’s fine. I want to tell you.”
Kyle smiles.
“I don’t let one-night stands tie me up anymore. I need a guy to earn my trust first.”
“That makes sense.”
“I don’t ask one-night stands to praise me either. Too many guys have laughed in my face or thought it was weird. It’s easier to keep my kinks to myself.”
“You asked me the first time we slept together.”
I tilt my head. “Because I trust you. You were more than a one-night stand. You were a friend first. We might not have met in person until that night—saving me from bullies eleven years ago doesn’t count—but I trusted you. We’ve talked about so many things over the last year I feel like I know you better than most people. You know things about me I’ve never told anyone else. You’re easy to talk to, and whether you know it or not, you’re a total caregiver. Your messages were so caring, and you were genuinely interested in me.” I sigh. “You’re amazing, kind, and supportive. I adore you for it.”
He reaches across the table. “Thank you for trusting me. It’s humbling.”
I take his hand, smiling as he strokes my skin with his thumb. “Thank you for not abusing that trust.”
“I would never do that, Haru. Never.”
“I know. Which is why it’s so easy to surrender to you in every way you’ll let me.” I lift our hands so I can kiss his. “This might make me sound like a teenager, but you’re my best friend.”
“And you’re mine.”
“I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t.” He squeezes my hand. “Take everything you said about me and apply it to yourself.”
My cheeks heat up. “The conversation got sappy.”
“Is that bad?”
“No.” I stare into his eyes. “I want you to know how much you mean to me.”
“As a friend?”
I hesitate. Emotion sticks in my throat. “Yes. And a lover.” I let go of his hand and wipe mine over my face. I’m going to miss spending time with him when I return to London. Texting won’t be enough.
CHAPTER12
KYLE
After dinner, we go to The New Penny for a few drinks before ending up in Fibre, an LGBTQ+ nightclub with lots of neon lighting in red and blue and frantic energy. The music is mainly house and electro. It pumps through my veins and makes me want to jump up and down as part of the huge throng. Strobe lighting compliments the frenzied pulse of the music. We stick to water between stints on the dance floor.
“It’s too hot,” Haru yells above the music.
