I hug Emory’s head against my shoulder. “I know. Thank you. I hate talking about this shit. It seems wrong to complain when I’ve got everything I could ever need. I’m a student living alone in a three-bedroom house, and I won’t have any debt when I graduate. If I graduate.”
“You will. I’ll make sure of it.”
I laugh. “Yeah, you’re not going to let me get away with slacking off anymore. My point is I’m privileged as fuck, so what the hell do I have to complain about?”
“Money isn’t everything. You need love too,” Casey says.
“Yeah. I don’t think I’m going to get that from my parents anytime soon. Hold up. Can we back this conversation up a bit?” I wind my hand as I speak.
“To which part?” Emory asks.
“To where Casey said you love me. Do you?”
My heart thuds painfully. I know they love each other and were in love before they met me, even if Casey hadn’t realised it. He’s adorable when he’s being oblivious. I never thought they’d say those words to me. I never thought anyone would or that I’d say them to anyone, but they’re on the tip of my tongue right now. Only I’m afraid to say them. How do I know if what I feel for them is love? It’s not like I’ve felt it before.
Casey kisses my temple. “Yes, I love you.”
Emory squeezes my hand. “So do I.”
I blink a few times. “What does it feel like?”
They look at each other.
“Like wanting to do anything to make that person happy,” Emory says.
“Getting tummy butterflies whenever you’re around them,” Casey says.
“Having an uncontrollable urge to smile whenever they’re close by, or you get a text from them, or hear their voice on the phone.”
“Wanting to protect them and be there for them,” Casey says.
Emory laughs. “Spending hours at swimming competitions and helping them with their schoolwork.” He nudges me. “Tutoring them to spend more time with them.”
“You don’t have to tutor me to spend time with me,” I say.
“No, but I did to start with.”
“Is there more?” I ask.
Emory dips his gaze as his cheeks turn crimson. “Wanting to be close to them. Wanting to give myself to them.”
My stomach flutters, and the world spins.
“Wanting to snuggle and being willing to try new things with them, even if it doesn’t always work out. But also knowing that they won’t judge you or expect more of you than what you can give,” Casey says.
I kiss his hair.
He looks at Emory and me. “Knowing who I am will always be enough for you, and that who you are will always be enough for me.”
I rub my eyes. “Okay, you two are making me tear up.”
“Does any of that resonate with you?” Emory asks.
“All of it. Fucking hell, I’m in love with you.”
I kiss Casey and then make out with Emory. Losing myself in them holds my tears at bay.
“Our families will love you,” Emory says.
