He swats his hand over my knee. “You know what I mean.”
“I do.” I take a breath. “I’ll do my best to stop being insecure.” Although it’s probably not as simple as willing myself to be confident about my place in our triad.
“The way you feel isn’t going to change overnight, and that’s okay. We’ll keep showing you how much we need you. We’ll do our best to show you that you’ve got nothing to worry about,” Em says.
“Every day,” Auggie agrees.
“Thanks. I’ll do the same for you.”
“And for the record, you can make all the appreciative noises you like when we hug and massage you. We won’t misconstrue them as anything more than you showing us you’re enjoying what we’re doing.”
I wipe my hands over my face. “I’m sorry for freaking out. I’m making a fuss over nothing.”
“It isn’t nothing. We’re all learning about ourselves and each other. We’re giving each other lessons in all the different kinds of relationship chemistry.”
“You’ve taught me that I like foot massages.”
“You’ve never had one before?”
I shake my head. “You’re good at giving them.” I squeeze Em’s hand. “And you’re great at giving shoulder rubs.”
“I’m glad you liked it. Want me to carry on?” Em asks.
“Please.” I need to relax again, and they can help me do it.
They return to their previous positions, Auggie on the floor and Em standing behind me.
“Did you have a good weekend?” I ask as they soothe my tired muscles. I’d been too wrapped up in my head to ask them.
“Yes. We got to watch our gorgeous boyfriend swim,” Em replies.
“The best part of the weekend is right now because we’re all together again,” Auggie says.
Their words fill my heart and make me warm and fuzzy inside. I hate that I let fear cloud my thoughts and make me doubt them and how they feel about me. This might be new, but it feels right. They make me happy, and I hope I bring them joy in some way too.
I let appreciative sounds tumble from my lips, mostly content sighs, but the occasional groan slips out too. When I’m well and truly relaxed, they join me on the sofa, and we cuddle and kiss.
“You give the best cuddles,” Em tells me.
My heart flutters. I hold him tighter.
“When is your next swimming competition?” Auggie asks.
“Towards the end of February.”
“Is there any way you could convince Josh to let you stay with us instead of the team?”
“Afraid not. He wants us to bond as a team. Wait. February is two months away.”
Auggie shrugs. “So? I already know I’m going to miss you that weekend.”
“You do?” I haven’t even begun to think about the future. I still need to fully wrap my head around being with Em and Auggie and that they want me for me, as demonstrated by the spiral into self-doubt that they had to drag me out of.
“Yes. Where is it?”
“Sheffield. All the BUCS competitions are there.”
“Then we’ll be there.”
