Kian: Just busy or stressful too?
Me: It’s had its moments.
Kian: Do you need a hug?
Yes, but it would sound too needy to say so. We had a wonderful weekend together. I have no claim on him or his time. Besides, I think Kian might want more than I can give. I’m not ready for another relationship.
Me: Tempting. But I’m tired and grumpy. I’m going to do some work and then get some sleep.
Kian: More work? If you’re tired, you should do something relaxing. I can help with that.
That’s what he said when he offered me a blow job, so I can only assume he’s offering the same again. Or more. I imagine him winking. I’m surprised he didn’t send a winking emoji. Not that I know if he usually sends emoji or not. Rufus does. So fucking many of them. Sometimes he uses emoji to communicate instead of words. Who the fuck does that?
Me: I’m sure you’ve got better things to do.
Kian: Better than spending time with someone who makes me smile? No, not really.
Now I know he’s being polite. I’ve been under a thundercloud since Erica left. I don’t think I can make anyone happy.
Me: You’re sweet.
Kian: I thought I was peppy?
Me: That too. Tell me you’ve done something exciting today.
That’s a safer topic of conversation than offers of sex.
Kian: Does sitting in a field identifying and counting wildflowers count?
Me: Umm…
Kian: And right now, I’m trying to get a head start on planning my research project.
I hesitate. He told me he might do research abroad. Why does my chest burn as though I’ve got indigestion? I have no claim on him. If he wants to go abroad, he should.
Me: Any ideas?
Kian: Not yet, but I’ll come up with something. I wouldn’t mind being distracted. Will you be my distraction?
Me: I’d be terrible company.
Kian: I happen to like tired and grumpy.
Me: Not tonight. You should be good and figure out your research project. I should be good and work on the coding problem that stumped me at work. I’ll call you.
Will I?
Kian: Okay. Take care, and don’t work too hard.
Me: I’ll try not to.
Kian: That doesn’t sound convincing.
Me: I’m going to stop texting now.
Kian: Uh-huh.
Me: I am.
