His question takes me aback. I’d expect something like that from Mum but from Dad? I blink slowly. I’d do anything for Kian.
“Does thinking about him make you smile?” Dad says.
All the damn time.
“Do you want to try new things just because he likes them?”
Does wanting to try bottoming because he seems to enjoy it so much count? My pulse increases just thinking about it.
“Does being with him give you butterflies in your tummy?”
Yes. And in my heart.
“Can you talk for hours on end about nothing in particular?”
We do frequently. Although I’m just as happy listening to Kian talk, and boy, he can talk.
“Do you want him as a companion as much as you want him as a lover?”
My face heats up like a furnace, and I bury it in my hands. I don’t want Dad to think of us as lovers, but the answer is still yes. I love hanging out with Kian. I adore making love to him. I like it when he stays over and we fall asleep in each other’s arms and wake up in a tangled heap. What I don’t enjoy is having to usher him out the door just so I can go to work, especially when he’s still sleepy and cute.
“I suppose you might not have taken that step with him,” Dad muses. “Are you having sex?”
“Dad!”
“You’re embarrassing him,” Mum says. “But if you are having sex, you are being careful, aren’t you?”
I groan into my hands. I’m twenty-five. I shouldn’t be embarrassed by talking about sex with my parents. Who am I kidding? I’m sure I’d be mortified if we had this conversation when I’m thirty or even fifty. We had the birds-and-the-bees talk when I was fifteen, which was fine. It was stuff I needed to know. But beyond that? No. We do not need to discuss my sex life.
“Think about those questions.” Dad ignores my discomfort. “If the answer is yes to all or most of them, you’re probably in love with him. And if you are in love with him, you should tell him.”
The answer was yes to all of them. Am I in love with him? My stomach quivers. What I’m not sure about is whether I can admit it out loud. It’s stupid. Kian isn’t Erica. He’s not going to screw me over like she did. I don’t want to doubt him. I’ve got no reason to doubt him. But fear claws at my insides and whispers, “But what if he does?” I don’t want to listen to that ugly voice. If I do, it’s going to keep me chained in the past. I want to be able to move forward with my life. With Kian.
I lower my hands. “Would you…be okay if I was in love with him?”
My heart races as I wait for them to reply.
“Yes,” Dad says. “All that matters to me is that you’re happy.”
Air rushes out of my lungs. I hadn’t even noticed I’d been holding my breath.
“It was a bit out of the blue,” Mum says. “But you’re my son, and I love you no matter what. Plus, Kian is a nice young man. Much nicer than Erica,” she mutters under her breath.
She doesn’t know what Erica did to me, only that we got engaged and Erica left the next day. I doubt Mum will ever forgive her for breaking my heart, and that’s fine with me.
“What are you still doing here?” Dad asks.
“Huh?”
“Go and offer to help Kian out. Now.”
I laugh. “I’m going.” I stand and look back at them. “Thanks.”
“We didn’t do anything,” Mum says.
“Yes, you did. I’ll catch up with you later.”
“Bring Kian over to say hi.”
