“Which type are you?”
“I fall towards the caregiver end of the scale. For me, it’s all about helping my sub relax and taking care of him afterwards.”
“They’re always men? Your subs?”
“Aye.”
“Is that because it’s sexual? You do something kinky, and then you fuck?”
“No. A lot of the time, there’s no sex involved. I only have sex with guys I’m dating.”
“But you do kinky stuff with guys you’re not dating?”
I nod. “I meet up with guys purely to do a sensory play session. I haven’t had many boyfriends.” Why did I say that? I doubt Callan cares, even if I might want him to.
“That surprises me.”
“Why?”
Callan stares at me and smiles. “Mam always reckoned you’d be a heartbreaker when you grew up. She said, ‘Rory’s going to be a ladies’ man. Just you watch.’” He rubs the back of his neck. “She didn’t know you were gay.” He looks down. “Nor did I.”
My heart aches. I wish I’d told him, but I’d never found the right time, and then, in the blink of an eye, he was gone.
“Were you in love with Darragh or your other boyfriends?”
I stare at the stars. “No. We had fun, but we weren’t in love.” Only Callan has ever held that special place in my heart. Not that he knew it at the time, and I’m not about to tell him now. “Darragh and I were together for about a year. After we broke up, I got more into sensory play.”
“I’m clueless. You’re going to have to explain it to me.”
“Using feathers and things to turn my partner on.”
“Do they ever get used on you?”
I shake my head. “I prefer to have control while my partner relaxes and enjoys themselves.”
“I still don’t understand what you get out of it.” Callan’s cheeks go red, clashing with his hair. “Sorry. As I said, I’m clueless. I can understand what a sub would.” The red flush becomes more violent. “It must be nice to lie there and have someone stroke feathers over your skin. I imagine it would be like a massage.” He scrunches his eyes up. “Or not. I guess a massage would have more pressure. Gah, I’m not making any sense. You probably think I sound like an eejit.”
“I don’t. I was clueless too. I still am when it comes to most kink. I don’t think I can explain why I enjoy being a Dom any better, though. If you want to know more about it, you should talk to Stefan.”
“Why?”
“It’s his job. He’s a pro-Dom at a club we’re all members of. It’s called The Library.”
“Members?”
“Yeah. It has to be members only so they can get away with stuff.”
“Stuff?”
“Nudity. Sex. Public spanking.”
Callan’s eyes go wide as he stares at me.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He shakes his head. “I’m having difficulty meshing the kid I knew with the man you’ve become. I don’t mean that in a bad way. I’d never have guessed you’d be into this stuff.”
“Do you mind that I am?” I ask.
