“Well, you do illustrate children’s books, so that’s probably a consideration for you.” He mock gasps. “What if Mum or Bryan saw it?”
I both grimace and laugh at the thought. My feet slip off the stool’s footrest, knocking me off balance.
Rubin is by my side in an instant, steadying me on the stool. “Easy. It wasn’t that funny.”
“It was,” I slur.
“If Hendrix is a camboy, surely all his stuff is behind a paywall. I doubt Mum or Bryan have a subscription toCamboy Dailyor whatever sites like that are called. Or maybe they do. Maybe our parents are secretly kinky devils. Hey, do you think we’ll bump into them one night at The Library?”
I can’t stop laughing. My sides hurt, and I’m rapidly losing control of more of my body. My head flops against his chest.
He wraps his arm around my shaking shoulders. “I’m just saying. Parents have sex too. And they can be into kink.”
My laugh becomes weary. “Stop.”
“Okay, okay, I’m done. No encores tonight, sorry.”
That revives my laughter a little, although it subsides quickly when he stays quiet. Once I’ve recovered, I grab a fistful of his shirt and push myself upright. My eyes are laden with tears that blur my vision.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Rubin goes from joker to concerned stepbrother in a heartbeat.
“I should be able to join in when you’re joking around like that. I should be able to have a laugh with you. Instead—” I squeak as my legs go again.
Rubin strokes my back. “I’m sorry. I went too far.”
I shake my head. “I’m…” My tongue is so heavy that my speech is unintelligible, so I wait until my muscles start waking up again before I try to continue. “…feeling sorry for myself. You shouldn’t have to stop being you. It was funny.” My eyelids flutter. It’s an effort to open my eyes again. “And now I’m tired. I’m sorry. I’m going to be bad company this evening.”
Rubin loops my arm over his shoulder and helps me to my bed. He lies next to me. “Has something happened? Is Stefan giving you grief?”
“What? No. He’s been great. He’s really patient and understanding.” I half smile. “The advantages of dating a pro-Dom, I guess. Like I said, I’m just feeling sorry for myself. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologise. I know it’s not easy for you.”
“No, but it’s my life, and you’d think I’d be used to it by now.”
“You are, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be angry or frustrated.”
“I try hard not to be either of those things. I’ve been there. Done that. Definitely worn the T-shirt.”
Rubin chuckles as he strokes my shoulder with his knuckles.
“Enough of me and my woes.” I roll onto my side so we’re facing each other. “Tell me what’s going on with you.”
“Nothing much. Work. Clubbing. Fucking. Same old, same old. I designed the packaging for a new dildo this week, so there’s that.”
Rubin does graphic design for a predominantly online sex toy company. Not that he’d admit that to Dad and Sabella. They know he’s a graphic designer, but I’m the only one who knows who he works for.
“Sounds fun.”
He snorts. “It was. Do you want to go to The Library tomorrow?”
I glance at my drafting desk.
“Seriously, Quinn, get in touch with the publishing house and let them know that you’re struggling.”
“I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. And you should. The more stressed you get about your looming deadline, the more your narcolepsy and cataplexy are going to affect you. You need to give yourself some breathing room. The publishing house will understand. If they give you grief, I’ll march in there and give them a piece of my mind.”
