Corey nods. “Yeah. I’m not sure why exactly because he’s ridiculously bright. He didn’t talk to us much that year at all. At first, I thought it was because he was working hard and playing harder, but he wasn’t doing either. He was miserable, and Archie and I weren’t there to help him.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Archie, Blake, and I had been in each other’s pockets since the day we were born. That changed a bit at secondary school because we were all put into different tutor groups and sets.”
“Why?”
“Because we could get annoying with the whole triplet thing. We would often speak at the same time, and people kept getting us confused, even though Archie has worn glasses since he was three. They used to be convinced that we pretended to be each other and that Blake and I would put on Archie’s glasses to get away with it. We didn’t, by the way. Archie is crazy long-sighted. Putting on his glasses is a recipe for an instant headache.”
I chuckle. “I can imagine.”
He’s getting off track a little, but I don’t mind. It’s nice to be sitting here with him, talking rather than fucking. I’m eager to know more about him, to understand the sadness in his eyes and the weight he carries around on his shoulders. I want to know why his muscles are always so knotted.
“Then we went to uni, and it was like I’d lost part of myself, especially when Blake went quiet on us. Archie and I talked really regularly—he went to a local uni and stayed with our parents—but phone calls aren’t the same as being in the same room.”
“That’s understandable.”
“But Carolinewasthere, and we got closer and closer, and eventually, we moved out of the friend zone.”
I start working on the heel of his foot and his ankle. He really is so tense.
“One night, we were drunk and had unprotected sex, and she got pregnant.” Corey runs a hand through his hair. “We decided to keep the baby and to move in together. I was shelf stacking in a supermarket to help pay my way through uni, but it wasn’t going to be enough to raise a child, so I had to drop out of uni at the end of my first year to get a full-time job.”
“What about Caroline?”
“She kept studying. It was important to her to finish her degree, and I felt like I had to make it happen.”
I suppress the frown that threatens to crease my forehead. It’s not my place to judge a woman I’ve never met.
“Then Lexi was born, and she was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Corey smiles, but the gesture is a painful mixture of happiness and sadness. “I moved my course credit to an online university so I could keep working towards my degree too. It was really hard—raising a new born, working full time, studying—but I was happy for a while, and I thought Caroline was too.”
“What happened?”
He dips his chin to his chest. “I asked her to marry me.” His smile fades. “She said we couldn’t get married just because we’d had a kid together. The next day, I got home from work, and she’d packed all her things up and gone. She left a note.” He sniffs, and tears gather in his eyes. “It said she wasn’t cut out to be a mum, that she was a free spirit and needed to explore the world before she could even think about settling down. According to Alfred and Sadie, she quit her degree and went travelling. I haven’t seen or heard from her since. Nor has Lexi. Not evenonebirthday or Christmas card. Not even a postcard.Nothing.”
“I’m sorry.” I can’t imagine the pain he must be feeling.
“I didn’t see it coming,” he whispers. “I thought we were okay. I thought she loved meandLexi. How could she do that to us? How could she abandon her daughter?”
“I don’t know, sweet boy.”
“Alfred and Sadie offered to raise Lexi, but I said no. I couldn’t lose her too.”
I start work on Corey’s left foot. What I really want to do is pull him into my arms, but right now, this is the best comfort I can give him. Once he’s had enough of talking, I’ll hold him.
“But I also couldn’t do it all on my own. I told my brothers I was going to have to quit my uni course, but they wouldn’t hear of it. Archie was still doing his course, and Blake had started modelling seriously. He hadn’t wanted to go back home, so he was renting a crummy apartment that was far too small for far too much money. Archie suggested we should all move in together. He reasoned that if we pooled our money, we could get somewhere decent and that he and Blake could help with Lexi.”
“Sounds like a great idea.”
Corey smiles again. This time it’s more genuine. “Yeah, it was. Thanks to them, Lexi was happy, and I was able to finish my degree and train to be a teacher. I honestly don’t think I’d have coped without them.” He frowns. “Sorry. I’ve gone on and on.”
“I’m glad you felt able to talk to me.”
He looks up into my eyes. “It was surprisingly easy. Once I started… it was hard to stop.”
“You don’t need to stop,” I prompt. “I can tell there’s more.”
He sniffs and swipes at his eyes. “My brothers are great, but they can’t help me with everything. They can’t make work easier, and sometimes I think they’re closer to Lexi than I am, especially Blake. He’s amazing with her.” He laughs. “He’ll even wear pink sparkly fairy princess costumes and have tea parties with her. But I look at them together, laughing and carefree, and I feel insanely jealous.” Tears dribble down his cheeks. “And I shouldn’t. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. I’m so stressed all the time, and I know it makes me a crappy dad. Lexi didn’t want to go with Alfred and Sadie today, but I made her because I can’t say no to them. Maybe I should have given her to them when she was a baby. Maybe she’d have been better off with them. They’ve got more money, and they’ve got time to spend with her.”
I stop massaging Corey’s foot. “Come here, sweet boy.” I hold my arm up, encouraging him to move position so he can snuggle up to my chest.
He does and instantly starts to sob against my shirt. I rub his shoulder gently and stroke my fingers through his hair. My throat is rough with emotion, my chest tight.
