… which just made them go even wider.
Shoot. I wanted him to sink back into that afterglow and just let me keep taking care of him. I wanted to get off, but not when he was acting like he owed it to me for gettinghimoff. I wanted some relief, but not if it was going to make him think it was the only thing I wanted.
But all I’d managed was to make him look like he was panicking again.
Jordan licked his lips nervously, then his face relaxed back into that sexy smirk that I was entirely sure he used to cover up his real feelings. “Dude, leaving you hanging?” he said. “That would be a dick move. I can’t just—”
“You can,” I interrupted, correcting him. “Because I’m telling you to, and we already agreed that Daddy’s in charge, right?”
His mouth snapped closed, the panic flaring in his eyes again. Then he swallowed. “Yeah, but… we already, uh… isn’t it...” His voice faded away, and for a split second, a desperate, yearningwantwas back in his eyes. But then, like a shutter closing, it disappeared. “Fine,” he said, shrugging. “Your loss.”
“No, just a raincheck,” I said, grabbing his arm when he tried to turn away. I pulled him closer, running a finger over the lips I’d been dreaming of for years. “Next time, this mouth is mine, sweetheart.”
“Fuck,” he whispered, then his skin flushed pink and he pulled away. “I mean, uh, sorry. Language, right?” He smirked, then scrubbed a hand over his face and looked away. “But yeah, just hit me up whenever you want it, Andy. It’s been fun.”
Dammit. I was definitely messing this up. He wanted more, too. I could tell. But he obviously wasn’t ready to admit it, at least not when he wasn’t hard and panting with need.
But at the same time, he didn’t need to.
I’d already seen how beautifully it unraveled him to let me take charge. I’d heard how needy he got when he finally let himself let go. I’d felt howrightit was between us, how perfectly we fit, just like I’d always imagined we would… only better.
But best of all, I’d watched Jordan melt into pure submission for those moments that he’d accepted me as his Daddy. It had been the most incredible, erotic,perfectexperience of my life, something I thought I’d understood when I’d read about it, but knew now that I could never have truly appreciated until it actually happened.
And now that it had?
I’d do whatever it took to give that to Jordan again. To become the Daddy he truly needed. To show him that it could last past an orgasm. That it wasn’t just fun, it could be forever… even if, for now at least, that meant letting him go.
Not without a coat, though.
There were some things I just couldn’t bend on.
8
Jordan
Andy didn’t seemto be on the same page about the one-and-done status of our hookup, so as shitty as it made me feel, ghosting him was the only option. I almost…almostblocked his number for my own sanity, but fuck, I was a greedy bitch who wanted to know that he was still thinking of me, so I didn’t.
I wasn’t going to reply to his texts, though.
And Idefinitelywasn’t going to answer his calls.
I broke after three days.
It was Dev’s fault. We’d finally finished the holiday series I’d agreed to do to promote his channel and surprise surprise, now he was on me to do another collab. Buthellno. He didn’t pull his weight, he was kind of a pain in the ass, and to be honest, now that I’d seen more of what he was putting out, I didn’t really want viewers to associate the two of us all that much.
I’d already told him as much a few times, but dude wasn’t getting the message, so when he showed up at the apartment and Paolo let him in—my plan had been to just not answer the door, but fuck, Paolo definitely wasn’t on my side for the avoid-and-deny strategy, maybe because he’d been right in the middle of reaming me for I can’t even remember what-all that I’d fucked up with a visit from the apartment manager and breaking some dish of his and fuckall else that had gone wrong over the last few days—I lied and said I’d just been on my way out the door, grabbed my keys, and took the fuck off.
My plan had been to hit the gym, but a pipe had burst or some shit and I didn’t want to drive across town to the other location and the whole day was justfucked.
Actually, things had been shitty ever since I’d left Andy’s the other night, because the whole damn time, I’d just wanted to go back. Nic had been no damn help, either. As per usual, I’d given her the complete blow-by-blow of the action, but instead of fucking comisserating with me about how shittastic it was to have to give all that up, she’d been on my ass hourly aboutmehaving fucked up. Which, yeah, was pretty par for the course in life in general, but I was still kind of pissed about it because she was the one person I counted on to always be on my side. And instead? My girl had started talking about how she was keeping tabs on Andy’s profile on Cuffd and then speculating aboutotherdudes’ profiles, and which ones Andy might hook up with next since I wasn’t interested.
And fuck, I mean… if he was going to be hooking up anyway, and I didn’t want to go back to the apartment and deal with Paolo or Dev, and I had shit else to do, I mean… maybe one more time wouldn’t hurt, right?
Ugh, no.Wrong.
It hadalreadyonly been only one time and I already hadn’t been able to shake wanting to see him again... but at the same time, the thought of him getting with someone else was...
Shit. Shit shitshit.
