I clicked back to the first one, where he was just… smiling. That one was okay. Fine, maybe a little better than just okay. I mean, if I imagined him smiling atmelike that, or hell, anyone smiling at me like that…
“See?” Nichol said, sounding smug.
“What?” I asked absently, still trying to figure out what it was about the dude’s smile that made it seem like… likemore. I flipped back to the ugly cat picture where he was laughing, and my stomach got all squirrelly again.
“You’re smiling,” Nichol said.
I snorted, yanking my eyes off Mr. Wholesome BDSM Daddy and looking down at her on my phone screen. “No, I’m not,” I said, since that was stupid. “Besides, he looks like a serial killer.”
“I read through his profile, boo. He’s perfect for you.”
“So you’re saying he has a ten-inch dick?” I joked, even though… ouch. A size queen I was not, so hopefully, he wasn’tthatwell-endowed.
Not that it mattered, of course, since I’d never find out.
“Message him,” said Seargent Fetterline.
“I’m not hooking up with some guy who bites off cat ears, Nic,” I said, even though… shit. I could already tell how this was going to play out. Why couldn't I ever say no when she got like this? And sure, the guy was probably way into spanking my ass for the night, since he’d been the one to message me first, but he really did look too nice to put up with the constant hot mess that was the rest of me, so then what?
Nothing, that was what.
I scrubbed a hand over my face. This was definitely a bad idea if that stupid smile of his was making me ask “then what.” He was obviously a kinky shit who looked for his hookups on an app called Cuffd, and he’d clearly signed up as a “dominant,” since that was the only way he could’ve seen my letter to Santa. And if he was the type who needed someone to call him Daddy just to get off…
Well, I mean, fine. I could do that. Just for one hookup, I mean. Obviously, since it wouldn’t go any further than that. But hewasclearly into me, since he’d messaged first. And staring at his pic, I was starting to get horny, so...
“I could type out a reply for you, or you can just click the autoresponder,” Nichol said, grinning like a maniac as that stupid little kitten she was holding crawled up on her face and muffled her next words. “That red button says ‘naughty,’ and the green one is ‘nice.’ I think we both know which oneyoushould use.”
“That thing looks annoying,” I said when the cat batted her nose. “You should make Scott return it.”
“You’re stal-ling,” she said in a sing-song voice.
“Did you even check if he’s a top?” I asked, definitely stalling. “Because you know—”
“That you’re a needy little bottom who only hooks up with guys who promise to fuck you into the mattress, and you keep dreaming that one day someone will come along who does it so well that you finally find the holy grail of orgasm and come hands-free,” she interrupted. “Yes, yes, Iknow, Jordan. Read his profile already.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Shut up, you know what I mean,” she said.
“Oh,that’sgoing to make him sound sexy,” I said sarcastically. “You know the text-to-speech bullshit on this thing is annoying. It sounds like a fucking robot.”
My knee started to bounce.
“No, it doesn’t,” Nichol said, pinning me with a hard stare that came through the screen loud and clear. She knew I was still stalling, and she was going to make me answer this guy anyway, wasn’t she? “But if you’re that against using basic technology today,” she went on. “I can always read his profile to you.”
I kind of wanted her to, which was a bad sign. It was just that smile of his. It was fucking with my head. Didn’t matter, though. If I did message him—if—and if he was actually DTF tonight, then I didn’t actually care about whether he liked long walks on the beach or what the fuck ever else he’d put in his profile.
“No one actually comes hands-free outside of porn anyway, bitch,” I said, my stomach fluttering as I moved the mouse up to the reply buttons.
“Bet you’re wrong,” Nichol said.
“Dude, you don’t evenhavea prostate,” I said, hovering the cursor over the red button.
“No, but I’ve pegged a few,” she said, smirking. “Click it.”
My stomach fluttered. “He’s probably a total dick.”
“Does it matter, if you just want to ride it?”
