“And now he lives on it full-time?”
“Yes.”
Before long, they were going through a less urban area, with trees and strips of grass lining the towpath. The first time they went under a stone bridge, Dylan couldn’t help but shout out ‘hello’ to hear the echo. He shivered as they were temporarily cut off from the sun, though it warmed his skin again seconds later. He marvelled at the way the trees obscured the sun, creating dapples of light on the water, the boat, and their bodies. Ducks and swans swam past them, creating a melody of quacks and honks to the backing track of the hum of the boat’s engine.
“This is so relaxing,” Dylan said, stretching his legs out as much as he could. He turned his head so he could look at Callum. “Thanks for inviting me.”
Callum smiled and, for a moment, they stared into each other’s eyes. Then Callum’s cheeks pinked, and he looked directly ahead again. If that wasn’t an ‘I like you’ moment, Dylan didn’t know what was. He tried not to revel in it, but his heart had swollen to twice it’s normal size and he was happy, and a little giddy.
What. The. Fuck?
It was a pleasant sensation, but alien to him. He fancied guys. He wanted to take them home and screw their brains out. Sometimes he wanted to fuck around with them for a few days, or a few weeks, but then healwayscut and run. Henevergot the warm fuzzies for anyone. He felt lust and he was cool with that. Wasn’t he?
Yet here he was, agreeing to be stuck in the friend zone, just so he could spend time with an adorable man. Adorable, but troubled. Even when Callum smiled his brightest smile, the pain caused by his past burned in his eyes.
Guilt twisted Dylan’s stomach into knots. Callum had laid bare some of his truth. Not all, Dylan was sure of that, but enough to make him feel like the shittiest person alive for continuing to wear his own lies like armour. He wanted to get closer to Callum—under your skin, get to know you close—but he would never be able to do that if he didn’t shed his lies and expose his own pain. He sucked in a breath, realising too late that it was actually a sob.
“Are you okay?” Callum asked.
Dylan almost couldn’t stand to be under that beautiful, caring stare. “I lied,” he choked out.
Callum watched him.
“About my parents. I don’t have a fucking clue how they’d have reacted to me being gay.” The words burned his throat. “My mum died when I was a kid. My dad couldn’t cope, so I was taken away from him. I was passed around from family to family after that, but nothing stuck.” He looked over the side of the boat, brushing tears away from his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Callum said.
The wood creaked, and Dylan knew Callum had moved closer. He longed to feel Tattoo Boy’s comforting hand on his arm, but the touch never came.
“Don’t tell anyone, okay?” Dylan asked roughly. “The guys at the club don’t know. I’m perfect Dylan with the perfect cardboard cut-out parents.”
“Okay.”
Dylan jerked his head round to stare at Callum. “That’s it?”
Callum looked at him blankly.
“It’s that easy for you to accept that I’ve been lying to my friends?”
Dylan wasn’t sure why he was angry. All he knew was that he wasn’t angry at Callum. Maybe he’d needed Callum to be pissed at him for lying. Maybe he’d wanted to be judged and found guilty.
Callum sighed and hugged his knees to his chest. “I don’t blame you for wanting to project the best version of yourself.”
“Even if it’s a pack of lies?”
“Yeah.”
“You should hate me for lying to you.”
Callum blinked. “Why?”
“You’ve poured your heart out to me, and I lied to your face. It’s okay. You can say it. I’ll understand.”
Callum peered at him. “Do youwantme to push you away?”
Dylan puffed himself up a little. “No, of course not.”
“You don’t know everything about me,” Callum pointed out. “Only what I’ve let you know. That’s what we all do. We show people the bits of ourselves we’re willing to share. Sometimes that’s a lot, sometimes it’s practically nothing. And sometimes we just want everyone to believe that everything’s okay, thatwe’reokay, and that’s when maintaining a lie is a hell of a lot less exhausting than the truth.”
