“Yes, I am, but enough about me. Have you felt this way for a while?”
Callum shrugged. “I dunno, maybe? There might have been a guy in juvie that I liked as more than a friend, but I don’t think I realised it at the time. Thereisa guy I think I like now, though.”
“The one you’ve invited out tomorrow, by any chance?”
Callum nodded. “He’s—” Callum exhaled slowly. “Gorgeous, and once you get past the fake parts, he’s a really nice guy.”
Not that Dylan had fully shown himself to Callum yet, there was still a thick wall of attitude and lies erected around him, but Callum had seen hints at the real Dylan beneath all of that and he really liked what he’d seen.
Ezra squeezed his knee. “What are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing. We’ve agreed to just be friends.”
“Does he know how you feel?”
Callum coughed. “He knows I got a hard-on while I was watching him drink a blowjob. Uh…it’s a cocktail,” he added quickly.
“I know what a blowjob is. Both kinds,” he added. “Does he like you?”
“He hit on me the first time he talked to me.”
Ezra laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes. You’re happy with just friends?”
“For now. I’m too confused to do anything about how I feel.”
“Understandable.”
“But I was happy around him this evening, and that was both nice and scary.”
“Do you want my advice?”
“Please?”
“Take things one step at a time. Don’t rush or force anything. And don’t worry about putting a label on yourself until you feel comfortable doing so.”
That all made sense, and made Callum feel a little less lost. “And Mum and Molly?”
Ezra sighed. “I don’t know what to suggest there, I’m sorry.”
Callum nodded. Where his family were concerned, there were no good answers. The one thing he knew was that there was no point in telling them until he was absolutely, one hundred percent sure. Even once he was, he doubted he’d have the courage to.
“Sorry to drag you away from your art.”
“No worries. I was about to give up for the night anyway, I was just waiting up for you. Who’s coming tomorrow?”
“Dylan. I think you know him.”
“Yeah, I know Dylan. I’ve done a few of his piercings for him. He’s a bit cocky.”
“No, he’s not, not really.”
“If you say so. If you’re sure you’re okay, I’m going to head to bed.”
“I am, thank you.”
Callum waited for Ezra to collect his tablet and pencil and disappear through to the bathroom, which sat between the main living area and his bedroom. Then he stood and got the bedding out from the drawers beneath the sofa before pulling it out to transform it into a double bed. Without making the bed, he went back out onto the rear deck and leant against the side of the boat, staring up at the moon and stars. It was a silly thing, but sometimes feeling small and insignificant in the universe grounded him and that was exactly what he needed after his emotional outburst. Determination filled him as he made three promises to the night sky.
“Iamgoing to sort my life out. Iamgoing to make things better for myself, and Iamgoing to be happy.”
