"I'd really hoped I could see you this weekend, but things at the dance school were crazy."
"Crazy good?" Luc asked.
"Yeah." Adam smiled. "And it's all your fault."
"The nursery sessions were a hit, then?"
"You could say that. We had twenty-one kids show up."
"Wow." Luc inhaled. "I'd say that your brilliant teaching was at fault, then."
Adam chuckled.
"Hey, do you think you could make it over next Saturday?" Luc asked. "By six?"
Adam shifted on the bench. "I teach until five..."
"Oh." The disappointment was clear in Luc's voice. "Yeah, I should have known that. Sorry."
"You had something planned?" Adam asked.
"Yeah, but it doesn't matter."
Adam picked at his jeans. It did matter. He could hear that it mattered to Luc. Besides, Adamwantedto be with him.
"Let me see what I can sort out. I might be able to figure something out."
"Really?"
"Maybe." Adam wasn't very confident. They needed an extra teacher to help spread the load, but their parents couldn't afford it, even with the surprise—and hopefully lasting—success of the toddler sessions. "I'll talk to Mum and Dad and let you know."
"I wish you were here," Luc whispered.
Adam wished he was too. His body hungered for Luc at the very thought of being close to him.
"That probably sounds really fucking needy," Luc added.
"If it is, I'm needy too." Adam rubbed the back of his neck. "I wish you'd never felt the need to go away," he admitted. "Maybe then..." he sighed, not really sure he should put it into words.
"We'd have been together sooner?" Luc asked, obviously not quite so wary.
"Yeah."
It was weird. Despite the time they'd spent apart, it still felt like they were a perfect fit for one another. He'd felt that way when they were kids: that they were a team, that they'd always be together, always be friends. Maybe, on some level, he'd had deeper feelings for Luc for a long time. Maybe that's why it had hurt so much when Luc had pushed him away and why his desire for Luc had been so quick to kick in, once he realised that hecouldfeel that way about him. And maybe, just maybe, it wasn't only lust he felt for his brother. Was love really that much of a stretch? How could he not love the man he'd known for most of his life? The years they'd spent distant and estranged saddened him. They felt like wasted time and energy. He'd been so angry, when he could have been in his brother's arms, if only Luc had been honest.
The irony of that thought hit him like a sledgehammer. It wasn't as if he was tripping over himself to tell their parents, or anyone else for that matter. He'd had to leave the house, just so he could talk to Luc on the phone, without having to censor any of his words. He knewwhyLuc had felt like he couldn't be honest. Christ, he'd reacted badly enough as it was to Luc's admission. He could only imagine what he would have done if, as a teenager, he'd discovered his older brother fancied him.
He also wasn't letting those three little words fall off his tongue. Why not? Because they were on the phone? Or because he still wasn't sure that it was love, rather than lust?
A small part of him had actually hoped that his feelings would wane the moment Luc had gotten on the train. That, with temptation out of sight, he'd be able to put his lust out of mind. Everything would have been simpler if that had been the case; if they'd both felt that way. But, if anything, he needed Luc more now that he wasn’t around. He sighed.
"You okay?" Luc asked.
"I just miss you," Adam admitted. "This whole situation is so fucked up."
"Yeah, it is. I'm sorry."
"For what?"
