Mason gestured to the bed. "It's a double, Adam. I think I can cope with you snoring and hogging the bed for a couple of nights."
"I hog the bed, do I?" Adam asked, putting his hands on his hips.
"Yup." Mason grinned. "At least you're not denying snoring." He grabbed the blanket and pillow from the floor and stuffed them back in the wardrobe. "You're not sleeping on the floor."
"Yes, boss."
Mason sat on the left-hand side of the bed, his legs beneath the quilt. "Okay, spill it."
Adam sighed and sat down on the other side of the bed, hugging his legs to his chest. He could feel Mason’s stare upon him, but couldn’t bear to look at his friend. It was as though he were being torn in two directions: half of him wanted it all out in the open, to confess his sins and get it over and done with; the other half of him wanted to clam up, so as not to ruin the strongest friendship he had.
“Adam?” Mason’s voice was soft enough to coax words out of Adam’s dry mouth.
"My head is so fucked up right now."
"I think you need to give me a bit of context. Is this to do with Luc?"
Adam turned his head sharply to stare at Mason. "How did you know?"
Mason raised his eyebrows. "Because Luc was always able to mess with your mind. It doesn't take a genius to put your screwed-up head, and him coming back, together. What's he done?"
Adam hesitated. There would be no going back or retracting his words. He knew Mason like the back of his hand, but even with that he couldn't predict how his friend would react.
"Don't hate me."
"Hate you?" Mason asked, his eyes wide. "You're my closest friend. I could never hate you."
Adam hoped that was true. "Luc told me he left because he was in love with me."
He watched Mason's face closely, looking for any sign of shock or judgement. Mason had tilted his head a fraction and his eyebrows were slightly pinched into a thoughtful expression.
"He says he still wants me," Adam carried on. "And once that thought was in my head..." he growled and shook his head. "I know it's wrong. He's my brother and I... I..." He clenched his fists and drove them against his knees, at a loss for words. "Say something," he muttered, after Mason had been quiet for far too long.
Maybe his friend was just as disgusted with him, as he was with himself.
Mason shifted, so he was laying down on his side, facing Adam, staring at him. He propped himself up on his elbow and inhaled slowly. "You're stepbrothers. You're not related."
"No, but Deborah adopted me and Dad adopted Luc when they got married. We all have the same surname, because Luc's was changed by deed poll. Wearebrothers." He stared at his knees. "Luc says it doesn't matter, that being together wouldn't be incest, but it is. No one's going to understand, especially not Mum and Dad. If we did anything, it would have to be in secret." Despite what Luc had said, Adam doubted his stepbrother would really want to saying anything to their parents.
"Is that the part that's bothering you the most?" Mason asked. "The secrecy?"
Adam nodded and then shrugged. "I don't know. I want Luc, but at the same time I'm disgusted with myself for even daring to think that way. I've tried staying away from him, but he's like a fucking magnet. He keeps drawing me back to him. I don't know what to do, Mase, or what I should think or feel."
"Forget aboutshouldfor a minute," Mason said. "What do youwant?"
Adam turned to look down at Mason. "Luc," he said miserably. "I don't even know why I feel this way. It hadn't even entered my head that Icouldfancy him until he dropped that bombshell on me. But the second he did... Fuck."
The left-hand side of Mason's mouth curled into a smirk. "I see your mouth isn't any less dirty."
"We can't all be fucking choir boys," Adam retorted, glad Mason had made him feel a little lighter, if only for a second.
"I'm not a choir boy," Mason said softly. "You of all people should know that."
Adamdidknow that.
"Anyway," Mason said, drawing out the word. "The way you're feeling about Luc: do you think sleeping with him will get your lust out of your system, or are your feelings deeper than that?"
Adam lifted his shoulders in a slow, dramatic shrug. With a heavy sigh, he laid down on his side, mirroring Mason's position. "I don't know. At one point, I knew him better than anyone, so it's not impossible that I'm feeling something other than lust. But does it even matter?"
