He wouldn’t be here either if it weren’t for his…problem.
His future meant nothing if Nightheart couldn’t deliver. If Hysterian couldn’t touch living flesh without killing it, or making a person addicted to him, there would be no true relief. Alexa or not, he’d be doomed to suffer.
There would be no escape.
It wasn’t only his secretion production that kept him away from others, from Alexa; he also had no reason to approach her. He’d come up with dozens of great ones but they were all lamely crafted excuses in his head.
I shouldn’t need a fucking excuse to talk to one of my crew.Hysterian’s jaw ticked.
He understood now why so many ships hired a live-in prostitute or invested in a state-of-the-art sexbot. He’d only ever fucked sexbots in the past, and although they were good—really good—at giving the illusion of a real woman, it wasn’t the same. They were too perfect. Too…plastic. It was the imperfections that made something real. Something warm.
He couldn’t have Alexa the way he needed yet, but he could fuck a sexbot and much more, plastic or not.One hard night with one will ease me.
It was decided. He was going to hire one on Libra.
“Captain?” Horace called to him, interrupting his thoughts.
“What?”
“Besides the problem with our water supply—which I assume we will have looked at while we’re on Libra and get the necessary items to fix it—are there any other supplies you would like to request?”
Hysterian thought it over. “Ask them if they have any suppliers or incoming transports of nanocloth.” Anyone could get nanocloth and manually configure it the way they wanted, but a Cyborg could control it on a cybernetic level. It was why they all wore a suit of nanocloth under their uniforms.
“Yes, sir.”
“We’ll be warping tomorrow once we get to Juda. First thing. I want to get there quickly.” Hysterian scanned through his navigational specs. “Let the others know so they can prepare. Shift ends in five. Enjoy your evening.”
Horace raised his hand in acknowledgment.
Hysterian pulled up an information packet of everything on Libra station, familiarizing himself with the giant space port and what it had to offer. It was one of the biggest waystations in human territory, central to many of the planets humans now colonized. His crew would want to disembark for a reprieve as well.
Horace rose from his station. “Goodnight, Captain,” he said, making his way out of the bridge.
Hysterian nodded, continuing to download whatever he could about Libra for future use.
“Captain,” Horace said from behind him.
Hysterian broke his connection to the network. “What?”
“The crew’s been gathering in the lounge for drinks in the evenings. You should join us.”
Hysterian lifted his head and stared at Horace.
Is…is he inviting me? Odd.The crew had recently started to gather in the lounge, but he hadn’t paid it any thought. He only knew of it because Alexa joined them, and because of that, he couldn’t get her alone elsewhere. He didn’t give a fuck what the others did as long as they stayed in line and did their jobs.
“I’ll consider it,” he said.
Horace grumped and left. When his new second-in-command’s footsteps receded, Hysterian leaned back, commanding the bridge doors to close.
An empty quietness settled in once he was alone. The subtle buzz of tech hummed in his ears. He focused on it, letting his mind clear within the white noise. These few minutes after the end of the day shift were his favorite. He savored it, knowing what was in store for him for the rest of the night.
Water, pain, secretion, replenishment, and more secretion. More pain. The nights were getting worse. He was naturally diurnal, and the constant darkness of space shimmering at him through the port windows was fucking with his mind.
He couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t power down.
He could only secrete, empty his body, and start all over again, hoping, for once, he’d tire out and deplete his systems long enough to get through the next day.
When was the last time I slept? Weeks. It was weeks ago.Hysterian leaned his elbows on his knees and ran his hands over his head. His systems urged him to rest. He ignored them. But for how much longer?
