“I see. I don’t think the captain will hurt you…if he hasn’t already, but I’m not sure. He was” —Pigeon rubbed his mouth—“a mess when you were in sickbay. He rarely left your side. It was exceedingly difficult to hide any abnormal indicators on your readouts. It was only possible because he was so focused on you that he wasn’t aware of anything else. Not even me, the job, anything. But if you think his feelings for you have changed because of your blood…?”
“I can’t tell him. I can’t.”
Pigeon slumped. “Dear, if you won’t tell him how you feel, and you don’t think you can fully trust him, then you need to do the next best thing for your safety. Leave.”
The air fled from her lungs. But on her next breath, they expanded, and a calm came over her.Leave.
“The sooner the better,” Pigeon said. “Before anyone else finds out what you are. We’re due to arrive on Atrexia tomorrow, I’m told. Horace has been bringing me my meals and keeping me updated. Atrexia is an unregulated planet. It isn’t privy to the same laws as Earth, or one of the main colony planets. It’s small. Private sects of people live on Atrexia, mainly those in research and resource harvesting. You’ll be able to find someone to help you at the port. There will be private and personal ships. Go to the terminal desk and see if anyone is willing to take on an extra passenger. It might be your only chance.”
Alexa’s heart raced. “What about you? I won’t leave while you’re locked up. You’re there because of me.”
“I don’t think I’ll be locked up much longer, so don’t you worry about that. When I’m out, I’ll lead him astray if he doesn’t just let you walk out on your own, and I’ll do my best to destroy any evidence you leave behind so he’ll have nothing to give to the authorities.”
“He’s a Cyborg, Pigeon. Hysterian is probably watching us right now. I won’t leave without you, I can’t.”
“Let him, and you can, damn it! If he harms me, he’s never met my daughters, but he will, and it won’t be pretty.” Pigeon visibly shivered. “I’ll be fine. I’ve lived a long life anyway, seen a lot of things. Had too many kids. If he’s got an inkling of good in him, and you’ve done nothing wrong but keep a part of you secret that isn’t hurting anyone else, you won’t come to any harm, especially if he feels the same about you as you do him. I think he might.”
Her throat constricted. Wouldn’t that be something? Even so, he wouldn’t feel anything for her if he knew what she knew.
“Please,” she breathed.
“Pigeon! Time’s up,” Horace’s voice came from the doorway just as it opened. Horace found them but wouldn’t look her in the eye, keeping his gaze on Pigeon.
Pigeon stood, worry etched on his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but she shook her head, stopping him. Alexa rose and wrapped him in a hug. It may be the last time she would ever be able to do so. He embraced her back, just as hard.
“Be safe, Dear,” he whispered.
“Don’t make me come in there,” Horace warned.
“Remember, Atrexia is the next day shift,” Pigeon said against her ear. Alexa gripped him harder. “I’ll do what I can for you on my end.”
“Don’t,” she pleaded, but he was already pulling away.
There was a sad smile on his face as she drew back her arms and hugged herself instead. She watched him walk to Horace and out of the room. The door shut, and she was alone again.
Alexa stared at it for a handful of moments before going back to the sofa and curling up. She was going to leave tomorrow, and she was going to leave alone. She’d been stuck in this room for days—she’d lost count. For once in her life, she didn’t want to be alone.
It’s for the best that I am...
She couldn’t kill Hysterian. She just couldn’t. She tried; she had thought about it a lot those first days. She was done with the guilt and the shame. She may not be able to trust him, but that didn’t stop her from giving him her heart on a platter to be served back to her by sharp knives. She couldn’t stay, not now that her secret was out in the open.
Alexa decided.
She had one last night. One night where she could be with him and not alone. She needed to say goodbye.
Twenty-Three
She tensed,heat coiling in her belly. God, how she wanted Hysterian. She had always wanted him. He was her very own fallen angel.
Alexa combed out her hair with her fingers, letting it fall in damp waves down her back. She stared at her face in the mirror. There was nothing remarkable about her that would lure in a man like Hysterian…
It’ll have to do.
Alexa frowned. She wanted to look nice.
She wished she had her bag of clothes from Libra. She hoped Raul hadn’t rifled through them, and that they remained untouched on her old bunk. And Raul… Alexa’s head clouded.
She hadn’t seen or heard of him once since Libra.
