Instead, I committed myself fully to the action, to the kisses I indulged in from Shear as we both lavished attention on Ingram’s thick cock.
“Fuck,” Ingram said, his voice low, the darkness inside him slipping out through that one word.Ifeltit inside him, the shadows, the void, the need for more that pulled him under.His actions made so much more sense when I truly saw what rested beneath his skin.It might have terrified me at any other time, the idea that something that dark, that twisted could exist within the confines of another, the thought that something likethatattempted to control him.
With the taste of his cock, however, I couldn’t bring myself to care.Instead, I gave myself over to the feelings, to the guiding, to it all.The corruption that swam through me already twisted, my body filtering it, changing it, turning it inane and harmless by my powers.Guiding exhausted me, but it felt like a big meal, both tiring me out and making me feel better, nourished.
It reminded me of why I had to get this to work, because I had no idea what I would do if I was kicked from the Guild, if I lacked access to espers for this feeling.If they tossed me away, if they decided I wasn’t worth the effort it took to deal with me, what then?
Sure, I had no idea where I would go, how I would care for myself, and it would cause a problem if I lacked for espers, but beyond that?In this moment, my mind clouded by need and liquor and corruption, I had no idea how I would separate fromthem.
That thought scared me the most, the idea that I actually wanted them—for what, in what way, how it would all work, those answers evaded me.I only knew that I didn’t want to wake up tomorrow to find them gone.I knew I didn’t want to end things even if I had little idea where this all could go.
Kenyon’s fingers tightened at my hips, gripping me in a way that I would have found suffocating any other time.He held me fast, his body slamming against mine, a reminder of just how strong he was by virtue of his size alone.My cunt tightened helplessly, wishing that instead of his cock rubbing between my thighs, he’d slipped it inside me.Even if I knew that, were I in my right mind, I’d not be ready for that, this drunken side of me craved it so badly.
I wanted to know what it felt like, to experience that overwhelming sensation that no toy could quite replicate.He was thick, my thighs burning despite how wet I was as he fucked between them, and I wondered how that would feel if he plunged himself into me.I’d used toys, but my own nervousness meant I’d never tried anything that thick.Instead, I’d stuck with newbie items, barely thicker or longer than my finger.Kenyon was nothing like that, and I had no doubt that he’d stretch me in a way that would be entirely unlike anything I’d experienced.
Beyond that, the idea of losing that bit of control, of allowing someone else to take me, it filled my mind.I struggled to keep my thighs tight, wanting to spread them, to beg him for more.Before I could give into such a thing, before I could ignore all the warnings and lessons I’d learned, Kenyon slammed against me, his cock twitching and warmth coating my stomach.I moaned, the sound rumbling out through my lips.
Ingram groaned, the sound making mine sound soft and sweet.Shear took Ingram’s cock into his mouth, deeply, as though he’d done it a million times before.Ingram’s hips jerked forward, his teeth bared, his muscles tight.After a moment, he pulled back, withdrawing his cock from Shear’s lips.
And me?For a reason I didn’t understand, with a bravery—or stupidity—that I’d never expected, I leaned in and kissed Shear.It wasn’t some quick peck, my tongue dived past his lips and into the heat of his mouth.I caught Ingram’s cum, the salty taste of it familiar in a primal way.
Kenyon pulled away from me, the action causing his softening cock to stroke against my clit enough to get me off once more, as though the mixture of that taste of Ingram’s cum, the warmth of Shear’s kiss, and the overwhelming sparks from Kenyon’s cock brushing my already over-stimulated nub pushed me beyond my limits.
I gasped or whimpered or something into Shear’s mouth, my brain so foggy that I couldn’t even understand the sound I had made.It all seemed so unlike me so different, so distant from what I understood about myself.
I’d always been one thing.I knew myself, who I was, the good and the bad.I was frigid and difficult and talented and prickly.I was a woman who avoided entanglements like this no matter what, a woman who knew exactly what they could lead to.
Yet here I was, indulging in them like a fool, like someone who had forgotten all the suffering I had gone through, who failed to realize that it could all happen again.
The questions, the shame, the anger at myself didn’t come, however, my body and mind too muddled to make sense of it.Instead, I found myself so exhausted that I closed my eyes, Shear’s lips the last thing I recalled before I drifted into a deep sleep.
When I woke, I’d have to deal with this all, would have to suffer the consequences of my own recklessness, but for tonight?Tonight, I would pretend the world was a different place than it was.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Carter
The coffee burned.I didn’t mind drinking it before it cooled, however.Anything to jumpstart my mind and erase the fog in my head.
It was strange how I could feel so much better and like absolute shit at the same time.Had my corruption levelseverbeen this low?I doubted it, not since I’d changed, not since I’d started to use my powers, at least.Nothing hurt inside me, no gnawing pain from the corruption, no tightness at the back of my neck that never fully left me, none of that.
Was this how people normally felt?
It reminded me again exactly how important guides were, why they were valued.At times I forgot, given how fraught that entire situation tended to be for us.Guides didn’t want to join our squad, only did so when they lacked other options or were forced as some sort of punishment for something else they’d done.It meant that while they did their jobs, they did it with only minimal effort.
Yun had gone above and beyond, pulling every speck of corruption from the four of us in a way I had no idea was even possible.It reminded me of the test she’d taken, the reality of her skills.The woman was astonishing, and the fact she’d all but fallen into our laps felt like a miracle I knew we hadn’t deserved.
It had been even better than when she’d guided us before, when she’d still held back a part of herself.She’d held nothing back this time, and it showed in lightness of my body.Strange that each time I thought it couldn’t get any better, she went and proved me wrong.
Still, while I felt great physically, the lack of sleep and questions inside me had sent me off to get this coffee, to try to spark awake my brain until it could work out the next step.
Yun would wake soon, and I doubted she’d be happy.Sure, she’d chosen that, but I was smart enough to know backslides were a part of life.Before last night, I’d thought using her as long as possible was good, but the idea of bonding us, of being together, of planning for any sort of a future, those things weren’t likely.They hadn’t been anywhere in my mind, really.
After experiencing the way I felt, though, the way she guided, I knew better.
We couldneverlet her go.Her skills plus our compatibility meant we’d never find another guide like her—and given our reputation, even if one existed, I doubted they’d ever get assigned to us.It meant that no matter what happened, we had to find a way to get her to want to stay, to draw her in, to keep her close.
“You’re thinking too fucking hard for this early in the morning.”Ingram stretched as he walked past me in the large dining area of the hotel lobby, set up with a continental breakfast.He didn’t bother with the food, however, instead going for the coffee just like I had.“Especially after a night like that.”
