That moment of sobriety, where Kenyon had removed the fog, had terrified me.It had forced me to acknowledge what I’d known from the moment I’d drunk that alcohol.
I wasn’t an idiot—I’d known exactly what I was doing when I’d done that.Sitting there with them, hearing them, spending more time with them, it made me acknowledge just how much I wanted more.I recalled the look other guides got, this wistful expression when they thought about how much they enjoyed guiding, how much pleasure it brought them.
Was that really what guiding was supposed to be?And I’d simply been denied it because of all I’d gone through?That thought plagued me more and more as I spent time with these men, as I wondered what exactly I’d missed out on.
So I’d said yes, using every bit of my courage in those moments before the wonderful haze took me again, when the tequila kept everything else at bay.
Once it did, the world felt quieter, smoother, as though all the hard, sharp edges had been filed down.
Carter still hadn’t moved, now entirely naked, and for the first time I gave myself over to curiosity.
Men were strange to me, so different from myself and something I’d never really gotten the chance to explore.I hooked my fingers around his waist and pulled him closer, until his knees touched the edge of the mattress and nothing kept me from him.He didn’t object, didn’t try to hide himself, to keep anything from me.
His body fascinated me, each hard line of it, the scars that covered him.Espers scarred still, just less often, and they were less noticeable than on humans.It meant that while a human might have ended up a gnarled mess, Carter only carried light raised lines no matter how dramatic the injury.Being combat, he took more damage than the others, and it showed on his body.
I traced the history of those wounds, wondering how he’d gotten each.It was so easy to see espers as powerful and dangerous, but he had earned each of these fighting monsters, protecting civilians.Before I knew what I was doing, I leaned forward and followed one line with my tongue.It started at his hip, then moved across his lower stomach and down to the junction of his leg.His skin was still damp from his shower, and the scent of something floral clung to him—probably the body wash from the hotel.
He released a groan that vibrated so I could feel it through my tongue, my lips.
A hand ran down my back, and without turning my head, I knew it was Kenyon.While It might have set me off before, the alcohol did its job and dulled those old fears, so I arched into it instead, begging for more with my body.
While I touched Carter and Kenyon teased me, another sensation took over—guiding.The movement of corruption from the men to me, a steady flow of it that I didn’t have to try to pull, didn’t need to think about.The connection that physical touch had given us made it even easier, even more effective than before.
It made me dizzier than the alcohol, forging this string between us more powerful than anything I’d felt before.
Well…once…
The memory sat at the periphery of my mind, as though it—and he—watched me through that darkness, mocking me, laughing at me, taunting me.
“Stay here.”Shear’s voice in my head helped to anchor me, seeming to rush away those memories before they could take hold.I couldn’t even find any anger with him over it, so I allowed it.
Kenyon leaned in further, moving behind me, his large hands grasping the bottom of my bra and waiting.For permission?He got it when I lifted my arms and pulled back from Carter long enough for Kenyon to remove the clothing.
I didn’t lean back toward Carter, though, because he came forward this time as though drawn by the loss of my heat.Kenyon scooted backward on the bed, his large hands grasping my waist and pulling me with him until I rested between his spread thighs, my back to his broad, hard chest, and Carter perched between my legs.
I was hopelessly surrounded by these men, and yet I couldn’t find any fear inside me.Not even when Carter curled his fingers into the waist of my pants along with my underwear and tugged them down my legs, stripping me of everything else.
No one hadeverseen me like this, so defenseless, entirely naked.
Of course, these men had seen countless women in such a state, a fact that nearly had me trying to cover myself, until I let myself look into Carter’s gaze.
Pure, unadulterated desire rested there, and he dragged his tongue across his lips as though he could already taste me there, like he was so hungry for me that he couldn’t bring himself to wait even a moment longer.Any nerves I’d had, any fears about my appearance died with that move.
“Fucking hell,” Ingram said as the bed dipped beneath his weight to my left, his words as filthy as his mind, no doubt.“She’s about the prettiest little disaster I’ve ever seen.”The words weren’t sweet, but they were honest, and they got me all the same.
Shear said nothing, but those blue eyes of his bore into me, as though he hardly saw my skin, like my tits and my cunt meant nothing compared to everything else he could glimpse.He sat next to Ingram, the two close as they always were, nearly touching.
Carter stretched out his body until he lay flat on his stomach, his face a breath from my exposed pussy.“Remember, Yun, you were the one who asked for this.”The words made me think he’d dive in, that he’d overwhelm me from the start, which left me startled when instead, he dragged his fingers up, just to the left of my cunt, with a touch so soft it tickled.It felt like offering me a taste of something to get me desperate.
Which seemed a stupid idea as I was already beyond desperate.It was like all those years of self-denial, all the years when I’d thought myself broken and damaged beyond repair, collapsed in the face of that one touch.
He repeated it on the other side until I arched my hips totryto get him where I wanted.
“How long has it been?”Kenyon asked, his lips brushing my ear as he spoke in a whisper.
How long?At first I couldn’t understand the question, between the needs of my body and the tequila.Then it hit me, and I flushed, the heat spreading down my face, my throat, my chest.I didn’t want to admit the truth, worried they’d somehow turn me down.
“That long?”Carter asked with a chuckle, blowing warm air against my folds as he laughed.
