We had three days until the dungeon opened.Three days before I had to work with another squad.I’d hardly figured out how to deal with these espers, let alone now having to add in extras I didn’t even know.
Still, complaining about it wasn’t going to do a fucking thing.At least that’s what I told myself, since I didn’t see a real way out of it.
“Sleep well?”
“Sure,” I answered.
It wasn’t the truth, but I had a feeling he already knew.No matter how much I wanted to deny it, there was a good chance that he’d heard me screaming, along with the rest of the house.During training, I had once heard that there were no secrets among espers, and I understood why they said that now.
At least he didn’t ask me about it.There was no reason to air my dirty laundry or let them see just how fucked up I’d been.If there was one truth to our world, it was that everyone was fucked up.We all had our problems, we all had the things that we just couldn’t handle.I saw no reason to air mine out for their perusal.
It did make me wonder about their past, though.What exactly had happened that made them the way they were?I knew the story I’d gotten, but it just didn’t fit well with the men that I’d spent time with so far.It wasn’t like I thought they were perfect by any means, don’t get me wrong.They were selfish and self-centered and difficult at the best of times, but the idea that they’d purposely let people die?
That didn’t sound like them.Or maybe I was letting myself get carried away.There was always a chance that this was nothing more than my reaction because I’d found a place that I sort of liked.It was like the times women ignored all the red flags they saw in a man just because his ass looked fantastic in a pair of jeans.The body’s reaction did not warrant an actual fact.There was no reason for me to think that these men were anything other than what everybody else saw.
The truth was that people saw me a certain way too, and they weren’t entirely wrong.Sure, there might be a reason that I acted the way I did, there might be details that they weren’t privy to, but that didn’t make them wrong.
The entire idea of calling me Blizzard, for example.It was an apt nickname, no matter how much I hated it.And when it came down to it, it wasn’t as bad as a lot of the other names they could have used.They could have called me ice queen or frigid or a million other insults that held some truth.At least Blizzard sounded a little bad ass.
None of that really mattered at the end of the day.
I was here because I didn’t have a choice.I was here because everything had led me here and this was my last chance.If I thought life sucked now, all I had to do was think about what life would be like without the Guild.
I wouldn’t have a job, no one would want to hire me, rent to me or give me a place to live.I’d have to take jobs that nobody in their right mind wanted to do.What did it really matter if I wanted this to happen or not?What I had to do was accept where I was and keep moving forward.That was all any of us got to do.
So I sat down to have breakfast with the other men.I ignored all my fears, I ignored the way they stared at me as if they knew something.We pretended they hadn’t heard me screaming, we pretended that we were one happy little squad, just like the Guild wanted.At the end of the day, that was all that really mattered.
Just playing the game so you could play for another day.
Chapter Twenty-One
Carter
I really hate people.
Sure, dealing with others was a part of life.Maybe I’d never really grown past being an angsty teenager who was always rebellious and wanted to do my own thing.There was some truth to that, after all.I tended to like to do things my own way, to take my own chances, not have to rely on others.Of course, I worked with the squad, so I wasn’t fully on my own.
The benefit of staying off the Guild’s radar was that we got left alone.We’d gotten used to being able to take the jobs we wanted, skip the jobs we didn’t, and keep the Guild the fuck out of our lives.
All good things came to an end however.The other squad, only an A-Rank, sat across from us.We were all here, just like a happy little family.
Well, a family that was about to kill a bunch of things.Then again, maybe all good families did that.Nothing brought people together quite like homicide.
Except maybe funnel cake.
We’d left Yun back at base.
Getting too close to a portal was never a good idea for any civilian or guide.There was no reason to put them in danger like that.Instead, the Guild brought portable trailers and placed them around the entrance to the portal.This offered a mobile command unit for any dungeon expected to last more than twelve hours.
This worked out well because it gave guides a place to rest and wait until they were needed.At times, some of the more powerful guides who worked on rotating schedules would venture somewhat closer, but they’d never be allowed too close.
No one wanted to risk losing a guide to monsters, friendly fire, or the dungeon itself.
“Let’s get this shit over with,” one of the other espers said.
That wasn’t an unusual reaction, all things considered.It wasn’t exactly a secret that they didn’t want to be here.
And the fact was I agreed with them.I didn’t want to be here any more than they did.
