She took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling beneath her shirt, a moment before a gentle pull against the corruption that spanned inside me.She didn’t yank, didn’t pull hard, but offered an almost sweet acceptance that had the corruption snaking out of me, vacating me in a way I’d never felt before.
It surprised me so much that at first, I forgot the rest of my job.
No matter how pleasant this seemed, I couldn’t forget the plan or the opportunity.
It meant that I used her distraction, the unavoidable closeness that came from guiding, to slip past any natural defenses she might have had and into her mind.
And fuck, was it a mess.
I’d known it from a few of the sparks I’d spotted before, the times when her entire psyche lit up in pain and fear and anguish.That sort of thing only happened with deep-rooted trauma, with wounds that went so far into a person they never could fully heal.
I didn’t enjoy poking at wounds like that.Trauma was far more common than most believed, and because of the way people experienced it, it was impossible to qualify.
I’d once dealt with a teen boy who had the pattern of someone who had been abused and tortured.I’d been asked as a favor from a family member to look into it, as he had struggled, and I had prepared myself for the worst.I’d readied myself to relive sexual abuse, to find rape or severe physical assault.
Instead, I’d found a spoiled rich boy whose largest problem had been that his mother had taken away his gaming console.
The truth was that minds were horribly unreliable.Add that individuals experience things through relativity, and what was traumatic to one was a Tuesday to another.
It meant that even though I felt certain Yun had sufferedsomethingto cause such a reaction in her mind, I couldn’t know how significant it truly had been from the outside.
Still, stepping in, there was no doubt of her suffering.Her mind resembled a funhouse full of cracked and splintered mirrors, something twisting and impossible to navigate.
Her thoughts were jumbled, passing her by as she focused on the guiding rather than any specific line of thought.
Almost done.Hold on, just a little longer.
Was she hyping herself up?I nearly smiled at the thought, at how she’d so confidently told me she could do this and how much less sure she was in her mind.
I turned, taking in the space, the snaking darkness inside of her.It almost seemed as though some of it were the deep purple of corruption, as though somewhere along the way, she’d taken in too much, as though her body had been unable to rid itself of the damaging substance as it should have.
But that made no sense.Guides could take corruption in as they did because their bodies converted it to normal energy, they dissipated it until it turned harmless.If they took in too much, it would only cause them to pass out, not do any long-term harm.
Which meant the corruption I spied could have only been a mirage, a mirror of trauma and fear and the doubts inside her.
That made sense, given her life as a guide.Her worries had to revolve around espers and corruption, didn’t they?
I raised my hand, easing her mind more, relaxing any hold she had on it.This would allow her thoughts to pass more easily, to slip from one to another.It was like being in a meditative trance, and due to our bond and the guiding, she wouldn’t be able to tell I’d done anything.
The memories played across the space, above me, like holographic movies, all first person from her point of view.
She recalled walking into our office just days ago.I hadn’t been there at the time, but her thoughts whispered as she relived it.
The thoughts were hardly positive, but who could blame her?She hadn’t wanted to be there anymore than we’d wanted her there—just misfits forced to work together for our mutual good.
From there, it slid backward…to a hospital?An esper lay in the bed, eyes closed, the soft whir of machines and the beeping of monitors loud in the silence.
This is my fault…Guilt assailed her, piling up so heavy that I was amazed she could stand.
Ah, so that had to be one of the espers she had shocked.I’d heard about it, but I had hardly been able to believe the truth of it.What guide could do that?It was so unheard of, I couldn’t bring myself to accept it.
At least, until I saw this, until I watched the esper there, helpless.If I were truly there myself, I might have been able to sense whether the esper had any brain activity at all, whether he would recover, but like this?I was as helpless as her.
Again, it all changed around me, this time to that same esper awake, standing, the pinnacle of life.
I didn’t recognize him, but I usually tried not to know anyone well enough for that.He stood so close to Yun that he towered over her.
Were his hands on the wall to either side of her?Caging her in?
