The way he said it made me laugh, the opposite of me.I wanted to settle down, but fear held me back, an inability to find people trustworthy enough to make it happen.For him, the idea of getting tied down, of being bound to anyone, terrified him.So instead, he enjoyed his life as a party boy, as the apple of the world’s eye, ready to play that part.
It took me back to when I’d met him, back when I’d first gotten to the Guild and needed a mentor.
I knew him better than most people, just like he knew me.Two fucked-up peas in a fucked-up pod.They hadn’t paired us because of that, of course, but it didn’t change the truth of it.It felt like a strange twist of fate that we’d worked together.
“How are you doing now?”Kaidan asked.“I’ve heard some rumors.”
“Yeah, I’m with Reject Squad,” I admitted.
Silence met me, something thick and uncomfortable.It said more than words could have.
“You watch yourself with them.”
“I always do, but why?”
“You really don’t know?”
“I know they’re low-ranked.”
“They weren’talwayslow-ranked.In fact, they used to be the top squad in the country.”
Thattook me by surprise.I thought about all I knew about them, the way they acted, the childish behavior I’d seen, and I struggled to comprehend that.It made no sense.Thesemen were considered the best in the country?
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not, little summer child.I was there—I remember.They rose fast, getting to the top of the charts, the toast of the town, all that.Then they ended up having…an issue.”The way he said that at the end, the hesitation said it wasn’t a good thing.
“What sort of issue?Were they filmed kicking puppies or something?”I let out a laugh to lighten to conversation.
“No—they failed a mission where they were supposed to save people in a dungeon.They ran the other way, and the people died.”
Chapter Fifteen
Kenyon
The cool air of the early morning held a chill, with droplets sticking to the leaves of the shrubs out front.We didn’t have a lot of plants, given that our place was so close to those on either side, meaning we didn’t have room for much in the way of gardening.Still, as soon as we’d moved in years before, I’d put pots along the steps out front, lining the walkway with terracotta containers of herbs and veggies.
I’d have loved to have an entire yard worth of plants, but because of the way the others felt about even camping, I didn’t think my future included homesteading.I still recalled the time we’d gone to find a monster hidden in a national park, when we’d tracked it long enough that we’d had to spend the night out there.
I’d never forget the way Ingram bitched, having grown up as a city boy, used to having access to all the niceties there.Even Carter had complained about the lack of a comfy bed.
Shear hadn’t said anything, but it didn’t take a mentalist to read his unhappiness.
That was okay, though.I’d accepted that being part of a squad like this would require sacrifices, would mean trying to work together to form a future.
Maybe I was better than others at accepting that because of my position, because my entire power had to do with taking care of others.I could put some of my own wants aside for general peace.That meant rushing into a fight with few offensive skills, trusting the others to protect me as I tried my best to keep them alive.It also meant putting plants on the front steps of our place because we weren’t going to get fifty acres and a bunch of chickens.
If it was Ingram or Carter saying anything, they’d say I was too stupid to be unhappy.
Maybe there was some truth to that, as well.I just never saw a reason to think about things too deeply.It never got me anywhere good.
“How are the kiddos?”Carter’s voice had me looking up and smiling.
He could get under my skin, of course, but he was a brother to me, someone who had gone through hell right by my side.It meant I didn’t mind being around him.
“Good.”I touched one of the leaves.“I think it’s going to get cold early this year, though, so we might lose a couple of them.”
He came over and sat on the top step beside me.He was usually smiling, which made it challenging to identify what he actually thought about beneath that false exterior.Still, he’d gained my trust enough that I didn’t worry.He’d tell me what he wanted to tell me, eventually.“We’ve got a dungeon we’re going to have to do in a few days.”
