If this was how high-rank healers worked, I could see why people enjoyed using them.
The pain lessened until it disappeared, until I wouldn’t have had any idea it had hurt at all.The blood didn’t go away, of course, but at least it no longer ached.
Kenyon let out a long breath, as though relieved, then got up and walked into the bathroom.The water splashed from the sink, and he returned with a damp washcloth.He reached out at first, before stopping and simply holding the cloth to me.
I took it, the water warm, then used it to wipe at my face.I hesitated at first, afraid it would hurt, only to find that there was still no pain.I cleaned my face until no itchiness remained, then wiped my hands as well.
“Better?”I asked.
Kenyon nodded and took the washcloth back, tossing it into the laundry in the bathroom.
When he returned, he seemed unsure of what to do.It was like once we had passed the initial problem, once he wasn’t focused on fixing my issue, he didn’t know what else to say.
Which amused me, given the way he normally spoke.
“Was that a nightmare?”His voice was soft, careful.
I wanted to tell him no, but I saw no point in lying about it.It was pretty obvious, wasn’t it?
“Yeah.”
“Have you talked to anyone about it?”
“What, like a therapist?”I let out a laugh I wasn’t sure actually tricked anyone, that probably screamed, ‘I’m almost hysterical’ rather than, ‘look how casual I am about this,’ like I’d been going for.“Nightmares are normal.They happen to everyone.”
Kenyon stared back, a rare moment of seriousness that I didn’t care for at all from him.“You could see a mentalist.They can sometimes unstick things in the mind.”
“Let an esper root around in my brain?I think fucking not.”The very idea made me recoil.
“The fact that you react the way you do to touch and then have nightmares like that makes me think there’s probably something you need to work through.”
I huffed softly.If even Kenyon figured that much out, it said I wasn’t doing very well, didn’t it?The man had the brains of a golden retriever—and the temperament of one—so if he spotted enough clues to give him that idea, then I’d been shit at keeping myself together.
He rubbed the back of his neck, his gaze lowered.“I know it’s easy to think we can deal with stuff ourselves, but it’s not a problem to ask for help.”
“By letting someone into my brain?No, thanks, that sounds like a horrible idea.”
“It really does help.”
“You would know?”I shot those words out like a challenge.Men, especially espers, sure didn’t like to admit weakness.I’d never heard of any willing to do something like go to therapy, or even the pseudo-therapy of letting another esper help them.
“Yeah, I would.I had some things happen when I first became an esper that I couldn’t seem to get past.They kept showing up in my life, and I had an esper help me.It wasn’t fun, it wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.”He shrugged and tucked his hands into the pockets of his pants, looking uncomfortable with the topic but willing to say it.
Which took me entirely by surprise.If he hadn’t given a fuck, it wouldn’t have impressed me as much.It was pretty obvious this wasn’t something he wanted to say, but still chose to.
Still, him putting his wellbeing and gray matter into the hands of an esper didn’t mean shit to me.
Plus, he was an idiot.Maybe the whole fucking with his brain thing was part of the reason?
“I’ve had an esper fuck around in my head once already,” I admitted softly.“It’s not something I will ever allow to happen again, not if I can prevent it.”
Kenyon froze at my words, or rather probably at the venom within them.
Then again, people like Kenyon saw espers as heroes, as the good guys.The idea that anyone might not trust them, or might even actively distrust them, didn’t work well for them.They couldn’t come to terms with that.
And there really was no good reason to keep needling him.He couldn’t help how he saw the world—it was based on his experience, after all.Instead, I pushed forward to change the subject.“Why were you trying to wake me up, anyway?More breakfast?”
He didn’t answer right away, as though weighing the pros and cons of letting me get away with the change of subject.He seemed willing to give in, since he nodded.“No breakfast, at least not here.We’ve got a job.”
