Fear.Not of me, not exactly.Was it fear of having to follow through?
Fuck, the girl was a bleeding heart, wasn’t she?Even when she’d strike to protect herself, she’d suffer for it later.
That got me moving, pushing off the bed and off her.
I glanced behind me at the mirror hung on the back of the closed bedroom door.It hadn’t been that long, really, but the black veins had lessened.They hadn’t disappeared entirely, though that was hardly surprising.Even Yun wasn’t a miracle worker.There was a limit to what could be done in a matter of a few minutes, especially without any physical contact for the guiding.
Still, the fact that even that small amount of time had given me this much relief was a fucking mystery to me.
I turned toward her, eyeing her, desperate for some understanding of how this could be, of what was different, of how this could be the way it was.
She wasn’t lying flat anymore, having gotten up and scooted away on the bed until she could stand on the other side.Her eyes were wide now, frantic, darting about as though she needed an escape.
That shook me free of the insanity that had held me.It brought me back to this moment, to the fact that she stood there, frightened, after I’d assured her that she would be safe here.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, relishing the lightness of her guiding.
Right.Be grateful.
There was time to discover her secret, to work out what she hid, to explain why I reacted the way I did, to find out what had happened to her before.At least, there would be time to learn if she didn’t take off now, if I didn’t lose her to this insanity in my head, to the desires raging inside me that I struggled to contain for the first time.
So I pulled tight the control I’d fought for, then smiled at her.“Sorry.It’s been a long time since I’ve had guiding—too long, clearly.You’ve got to be tired.You should go to sleep.”
She didn’t move, her body pinned there in the corner, as far away from me as she could get, as though she didn’t trust my words.
Smart girl.She shouldn’t trust me.She shouldn’t trust anyone.
Instead of trying to convince her of anything, I went another route.“I’m going to go brush my teeth, then get some sleep.Goodnight, Yun.”Her name hung on my lips, sweeter than it had any right to be.
I used names like a weapon, willing to wield them in whatever way I needed to get what I wanted.That was how it had always worked.Why then was it that hers threatened to manipulate me, to bring me to my knees instead?
When I turned my back, the door opened then slammed shut.The quick steps of someone running told me she’d fled.
Once in the bathroom, I groaned and rubbed my face, trying to get a grip and failing miserably.
I glanced down at my front, then sighed.
Well, looks like I can try that cold shower now…
Chapter Twelve
Yun
Another damned nightmare.
It was easy to tell when they happened because I was always backthere.
Knowing it was a dream didn’t change anything.It still felt real.It still inspired honest terror in me, still forced me to face everything I didn’t want to.
Whether it occurred in my mind or out in the real world didn’t change the moment.
The black sky rested above, torn through with streaks of purple that shifted like oil in water.Not the black of the normal night sky, dotted with bright stars or lit by the reflection of the sun on the moon.This was a deeper darkness, one that swallowed up the light everywhere else.
I stood in the forest with the twisted, strange trees surrounding me as they had before.Everything smelled sweet and slightly acidic—the scent that turned my stomach, that made me want to run and hide and curl into the smallest ball possible.
“You belong here,” the rumbling voice whispered, hot breath against my ear, a threatening promise in those words.It wasn’t a human voice, instead deep and dark.
I closed my eyes, trying to shut out this place, this voice.“This isn’t real.”
