I pulled my shoulders back, refusing to be looked down on.“That isn’t any of your business.You need a guide, and the Guild thought I would be compatible.I can assure you I’m capable of it.”
“What rank are you?”
“S.”
He didn’t seem impressed, though why would he?My understanding was that this squad had all Rank-S espers—the highest rank there was—so they would expect a comparable rank when it came to a guide.If guides and espers had differing levels, they didn’t work as effectively together.He made a soft sound, then moved on.“So, you’re willing to be our guide?”
Willing felt like far too accepting a word.Forced to?Had no choice?Sure, those were accurate, but willing?
Technically, maybe.
“Yes,” I said instead of voicing the rest of it.“But I have some requirements.I don’t do any physical guiding.”
Ingram choked from the couch, as though something had lodged in his throat, then started to cough.When he finally caught his breath, I could have sworn I heard “Fucking pity” quietly from him.
“That means you’ll need to guide far more often, and you’ll get run down quicker.That seems like an absolutely terrible idea.”
I closed my hands into fists to keep my expression stoic.It wasn’t an unusual response to a rather unusual boundary.
Sure, some guides put limitations on the type of guiding they did—especially at first.They might say they wouldn’t kiss, wouldn’t engage in sexual acts, but few completely refused physical contact at all.The natural draw between espers and guides meant even those rules, when made, rarely lasted long.
The process of guiding was made easier by physical contact, more so when fluids were involved.Removing the corruption—twisted energy that accumulated inside an esper as they used their powers—had to happen.Without that, the corruption would eventually overwhelm them and drive them mad, turning them into little more than crazed monsters themselves.It meant espersneededguides to keep them sane.
“Those are my limits,” I repeated, my voice firm, unwilling to even suggest a softening.
Kenyon hadn’t spoken again, watching us, his gaze moving back and forth like a kid watching his parents fight.Ingram had lain back down, his interest waning at the realization that he wouldn’t be fucking me.
Fine by me.
The less interest any of them had in me, the better.
“That seems like a losing proposition for us.We get saddled with a guide who can only do a portion of the job?”Carter leaned back in his chair, his gaze hard even if his voice still sounded friendly and casual.“I mean, I get whyyou’rehere.You’re out of options, aren’t you?”
I sat up straighter at that.Sure, I had a reputation, but I’d hoped it hadn’t gotten this far.This squad never attended meetings or functions, so how the hell would they know anything?
“You got kicked out of your last six squad assignments.In fact, I think the last one, you put an esper in the hospital for a week.”
I flinched as I recalled that day.The way his body had struck the ground, the heavy thud, the stares of others as they tried to work out what had just happened.
Me, a guide, had just put a Rank-S esper on his ass, flat out on the concrete floor.
It wasn’t something people saw, and sure enough, by the end of that day, I’d gotten a call from the Guild telling me my assignment had been pulled.
They’d been nice about it, of course.All ‘it just wasn’t a good fit,’ as though we were boyfriend and girlfriend getting let down easy.
I knew the truth, though.
They were afraid of me.It wasn’t the first time, but it had to be the last.If I screwed up again, if I found myself on the outs with another squad—well, I had nowhere else to go.
“That was confidential,” I muttered softly.I couldn’t exactly deny it, but they shouldn’t have known about it.
“Nothing in this world is confidential,” Carter pressed.“And that isn’t the first time you’ve done that.Seems the normal guide defense system is a bit supercharged for you.Let me guess—the president told you this is your last stop, right?This is it for you.If you can’t make it work here, they’re going to cut you loose.”
“They can’t afford to lose guides,” I argued.
“Useful ones, sure, but you’re defective.You do more harm than good to the squads you’re assigned to.And that’s over the fact you can’t even do basic physical guiding, right?So what exactly is it you think you’re going to do for us?”
I closed my eyes for a moment.I didn’t want to show weakness, but better this, better to collect myself and start again than say something I couldn’t take back.
