“I won’t change my mind.I’ve been a guide with the Guild for almost ten years, and I’ve never once changed my mind.I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you, thinking you were different or something.You’re not.”
Ingram snorted.“You say that now.Give it a few weeks and we’ll see what tune you’re playing.Don’t worry, little snowflake, when you change your mind, I’ll be more than willing to fuck you.”He drew his lips into a lopsided smile.“Until then, feel free to use the goodies I left you.”
I should have figured it had been Ingram, given the little interaction we’d had so far.It seemed like something he’d do.
“Goodies?”Kenyon asked.“Did you leave some for me, too?”
Ingram snickered.“I don’t mind sharing.”
Kenyon peered at me, his smile wide and stupid and hopeful.
“Trust me, you don’t want any.”Even as I said that, I thought about how hilarious it would have been to show Kenyon what Ingram had stored there.Of course, dumb or not, Kenyonwasan esper, and given what he’d said earlier, he wasn’t as innocent as he might have seemed.
Kenyon pouted but went back to his food, seeming easy to distract, which worked perfectly for me.
“How do you keep in touch about missions?”I asked.“I have to make sure I prepare if we’ll be traveling or anything.”
Kenyon tilted his head like a confused pup while Ingram snickered.Shear didn’t even acknowledge my question, but Carter pointed toward the fridge.“There’s a whiteboard.”
I frowned as I looked in the direction he’d gestured to find a small whiteboard attached to the front of the fridge door.The sight was so absurd that I couldn’t help it before I got up from the table and went over to the fridge.
If I tilted my head, sure, those could almost appear to be words written on it?Maybe it said Tuesday, January 64th?
“Thisis your method for keeping track of jobs?”
Carter sounded almost hurt when he responded.“Hey, that’s kept us on track for years!”
“We have a board?”Kenyon asked as he scratched his head.
“I thought it was a grocery list,” Ingram said.
“That explains why Carter never buys the yogurt I keep adding to the list,” Shear said.
“Yogurt?I thought that said yoga.I wondered why I kept going to that damn yoga class every week by myself,” Carter huffed.
I couldn’t even bring myself to respond as I stared at these four men, wondering if stupidity was contagious.These were espers, right?I wanted to yank all four of them down to the Guild and get them retested right now, because at the moment, I found it hard to believe such a thing.They seemed far too chaotic and dumb for me to even consider how they’d enter dungeons and fight monsters.
They were idiots.
I rubbed my hands over my face.“We need to have a way to schedule and communicate,” I explained, wondering how I became the esper whisperer all of a sudden.Normally, the squads I’d worked with all ran smoothly.They had someone in charge and they all fell into line.
Sure, they were people, which meant they made mistakes, they let loose, but they took their jobs seriously.
These men seemed to takenothingseriously.
“We have a group text,” Kenyon said, turning his phone around to show me.
And just like that, I wished we had eye bleach.The thread appeared to be nothing but gifs—ones of cats from Kenyon and mostly porn from Ingram.
Thiswas how they got anything done?
That explained why they gotnothingdone.How could anyone complete anything in this mess?The only thing in order that I’d spotted so far was the weaponry cabinet.
Then again, I guess having guns lying around was probably a pretty bad idea and a step too far for these fools.
Carter handed me something, and it took a moment to realize it was a cell phone.“You’re in the group text already.Don’t worry.”
I stared down at the phone, the thing nicer than anything I’d had in…well, perhaps forever.I tried to hand it back.“I don’t need this.”
