I didn’t know when it changed, and I couldn’t say exactlywhatchanged it, but something did. The way he looked at me, the way he touched me, the way he kissed me, they all made this thing between us almost feel…real. I knew it was ridiculous. It washimandme. Everything about us came down to our agreement, a deal between two people desperate enough to turn to an adversary for help. Yes, it spiraled into something I don’t think either of us anticipated, and it had gone on far longer than intended, but that didn’t mean that it actuallymeantsomething.
At least…it was never supposed to.
Before I left, I’d teased him about sounding like he was going to miss me, and as much as I was joking, deep down, there was a part of me that truly hoped he would. I think I was afraid of everything changing while I was gone and being different when I came back.
For nearly two years, we had thisthingbetween us, a constant back and forth, a push and pull. We relied on each other for something. And all of those moments between us—from our texts to our secret trysts and every conversation and witty remark in between—became routine in a sense. Much to my surprise, Wes and what we had going on ended up becoming an intricate part of my life.
With me being gone for two months, I couldn’t shake this feeling that things were going to change.
And I didn’t want them to.
Chapter 40
Morgan once toldme I’d become so desperate that I turned to stalking. I fired back with some arrogant-filled retort about how I didn’t need to ever stoop that low.
I’d officially stooped that low when it came to her.
I’d been stalking Morgan’s Instagram page—we still weren’t following each other—for two weeks. I studied every new photo she posted, from her food and drinks to a selfie of her in that godforsaken skimpy red bikini on some beach while holding what appeared to be a sangria.
Needless to say, I was a goddamn mess.
I’d heard people say before that being in love changes you as a person. And it wasn’t that I didn’t believe that—I’d seen it change people firsthand. However, I always assumed that those feelings needed to be reciprocated in some capacity for that change to take effect.
That wasn’t the case for me.
I missed Morgan.
I missed having her here, but it wasn’t just for the mind-blowing sex.
I missed her backhanded compliments, her snark, her smile. I missed bantering with her. I missed the way she would bite her lip when her stubborn ass was trying not to laugh. I missed how her amber eyes sparkled when she found something amusing or was about to fire off some cheap shot she knew would punch a hole right through my ego.
I’d officially become someone I didn’t recognize. I was no longer Wes Callahan, lawyer and bachelor extraordinaire. I was Wes Callahan, lawyer and simping fool.
I hadn’t talked to her since I showed up at her apartment the night before she left two weeks ago. We didn’t ever message each other for shits and giggles. We didn’t talk just to check-in. And I felt it would come off as odd if I randomly reached out to see how she was.
I was still pissed at myself for fumbling with telling her how I felt. Moments like that made me wish I hadn’t made being single the sole mission of my adult life. I’d always been able to talk to women. I could flirt and charm them into my bed. I could tell them how beautiful I thought they were. I could be upfront and honest about my intentions with whatever happened between us. Telling one aboutfeelings? Completely foreign.
I was one of those people who could tell friends to just be open and honest when they came to me for advice—why they came to me, considering I’d never had a goddamn relationship in my life, I didn’t know. But following my own advice seemed damn nearimpossible.
I’d always been a pretty open book…exceptwhen it came to Morgan. Hell, I couldn’t even tellmyselfI had feelings for her until months later. So how was I supposed to tellher?
“Earth to Wes.”
I snapped my gaze over to Lucas. “Sorry. What was that?”
Lucas and Callie chuckled. “The paper,” Gabe said, snatching the trivia response slip from my hands and giving it to the emcee.
“My bad.”
“You seem distracted tonight,” Callie said with a chuckle.
My eyes momentarily shifted to the empty seat usually taken up by Morgan, quick and casual enough to where no one caught it. “I’m fine,” I lied.
Just then, Susan brought over another round of drinks for us. “There you go, gang.”
Callie smiled. “Thanks, Suzie.”
“Hey, I meant to ask,” she said, leaning against Gabe’s chair. “How’s your brother doing?”
