Chapter 34
I was seatedin my chair, slumped against my desk with my office phone muted on speaker during a conference call with a woman from HR who was going over our new benefits package on a Wednesday afternoon. I wasn’t paying attention. Not in the slightest.
Instead, I was fidgeting with a pile of paper clips, my mind preoccupied with the gala this past weekend and what had transpired.
I’d been able to wear a mask of indifference about the whole situation, more so after clearing the air with Morgan, but it was all I’d been able to think about. Because I wasn’t entirely honest with Morgan when we talked on Sunday.
I told her I didn’t know what came over me the night of the gala, going as far as to blame it on too much alcohol. Except, I only had two drinks the entire night. I wasn’t even buzzed. And I knew exactly what came over me. I’d let an emotionconsumeme that I swore I never would.
I prided myself on not being a jealous man. I always lookedat it as some kind of flex, especially when I would see friends of mine rearing their ugly green monsters. Couldn’t be me.
Until it was.
When I saw Morgan walk into that room and realized it was on the arm of Corbin Blackwood, I became someone I didn’t even recognize. Red-hot rage flooded my veins, and one word kept playing on repeat in my head.Mine. Morgan was mine. She didn’t belong on the arm of anyone butme.
I’d spent the last few days thinking about it, consumed by it even.
Morgan and I had a mutually beneficial arrangement. Nothing more. Shewasn’tmine. No part of her belonged to me. I had no say in what she did or who she spent her time with. And I certainly wasn’t supposed to give a shit about it. And Ineverdid before. I’d seen her on dates. I’d seen her flirt with other guys at the bar right in front of me. It never bothered me.
So why did I feel that waynow? Why did it bother me so damn much?
And why, when she told me Sunday that she hadn’t been with anyone else but me since we made our deal over a year ago, did it make me feelrelieved? I knew she thought her confession was nothing more than a boost to my ego, but when she told me that, it wasn’t self-importance I felt.
It was satisfaction that I’d had her all to myself and relief that I’d been the only person she both needed and wanted…even if it was only meant to be temporary.
I was being honest when I told her I hadn’t been with anyone else but her, though. I told myself over time that it was for similar reasons as she gave me—why go looking for it when I knew I had her to fall back on? But now, after what happened at the gala, I was also questioning my rationale about that.
“Mr. Callahan, does that sound okay to you?”
I snapped from my daze and unmuted the call. “Y-Yeah. Sounds great.” I had no idea what the hell I just agreed to.
When she continued, I muted the call again, blowing out a breath as I leaned back in my chair. That’s when my gaze fell on the pile of paper clips I’d been fidgeting with while musing about Morgan. My eyes widened, and I flew up from my chair so fast that it tipped backward. I pointed at my desk to show who I didn’t fucking know, considering I was the only one in my office.
“Ohno. No, no, no, no.No.” I clenched my hands into fists with an annoyed grunt. “Fuck!”
On my desk was no longer a simple pile of paper clips but paper cliphearts. That’s right. While thinking about Morgan and my newfound jealousy, possessiveness, and my pride over being the only person she’d been with for more than a year, I unconsciously bent and twisted all of those paper clips intolittle fucking hearts.
And seeing them was like a blinding light switch being turned on.
I moved away from my desk, palming my temples as I began to pace the length of my office. I stopped and glanced over at the pile of paper clips again, then threw my fists out, punching the air and kicking my legs as I grunted and whispered obscenities under my breath.
“Fuck!Fuck, fuck, fuck…”
My heart sped up as I raked my hand through my hair. And I was pretty sure I was sweating.
I’d been asking myself why I was feeling the way I had been, why I cared so much…but deep down, I knew the answer.
I’d known for a while now.
It was because I hadfeelingsfor her.
The thing I’d been trying to avoid acknowledging, that I tried to ignore formonths,hit me full force like a sucker punch right to the goddamn face.
I’d fallen for Morgan.
“Ohfuck!” I punched the air some more before the phone call that was still ongoing pulled my attention again.
“Okay. I think that’s everything. Does anyone have any questions?”
