“Hallelujah!”
“No. Ishouldn’thave. I’ve got better self-control than that. We’re trying to teach these kids how to have sportsmanship, right? So why do I ignore all my boss’s advice on how exactly to deal with Danton and then I get physical with him? Dumbest thing I’ve ever done.”
Wes is quiet for a moment. “That’s the thing, though. Youaresmarter than that. There’s no reason to think you’d ever do it again. Blame it on the drugs. Say it’s a fluke and hold your head up high and turn in that complaint that Bill keeps asking you for.”
“So I can save my job or my conscience, but not both.”
He kisses the back of my neck. “Save your job, babe, then give your conscience a break. You seriously think those kids are better off if that asshole wins?”
And here is where I realize for the hundredth time in twenty-four hours how much I love Wes. Lying here pancaked to his naked body, hashing out my career disaster—it’s the best therapy ever. There’s a reason I trust him. We may notalways look at problems the same way, but he’s pretty damn smart.
“I’m going to go in there Monday and eat crow,” I decide. “I want that job. I deserve it, too.”
His big hand rubs my hip. “Of course you do.”
We go silent again, and after a while I decide that Wes is asleep. But then he surprises me by speaking again. “Can we talk about your other favorite topic?”
“Your shitty housekeeping?”
He laughs. “Okay, yourotherother one.”
“Which is…?”
“Money.”
“God, why?”
“Because when the season is over, we’re going to throw a wedding and then go on aspectacularvacation. I want to plan it without you worrying about the cost. There’s still some grueling weeks ahead of us, right? It will be easier every time I look at the screensaver I’ve downloaded for whatever beach we’re going to.”
I don’t know what to say. “It doesn’t have to be expensive.”
Wes chews on my neck for a moment before answering. “Privacy costs money. And I have money.” He tugs on my shoulder, so I have to turn around and face him. “You know how I got rich?”
I shake my head.
“By waking up one morning to find that my grandfather had died, leaving me a pile of cash. My asshole father can’t touch my trust, either. The old man knew Dad was a greedy bastard.” He grins. “It’s all just the luck of the draw, okay? And even if I’d earned every penny digging ditches, there isn’tanythingI have that I don’t want to give you. Not one thing.”
He leans in and kisses me while I try to take that in. I get a second kiss, and then a third. I thought I was done figuring shit out already, but there’s more you can learn at 1:45 in the morning as your boyfriend slowly eases his way into your mouth, stroking your tongue with his.
I’ve spent too many weeks worrying about accepting help from Wes, because I didn’t want to appear weak. And the whole time he’s only been desperate to show how much he loves me.
The realization brings a groan from the depths of my chest.
“What?” he asks, nuzzling my cheek.
“I love you.”
“But…?” He chuckles.
“But I’m an idiot. Having your dick in my ass has never insulted my manhood. But letting you pay for my hospital bill made me feel crazy.”
Wes laughs and then chews on my ear. “If I set it up so that our whole rent check comes automatically out of my trust fund, will you lose your shit? That’s what I want to do. Because then when you buy the groceries I won’t have to ask you to save the receipts. What if we just stopped keeping track? Isn’t that what married people do?”
“I guess?” All the implications of marrying Wes are threatening to make my head explode.
He must sense it, too, because he goes back to kissing me. Eventually we fall asleep like that—face to face, tangled up together.
When Wes’salarm goes off at six-thirty, we both groan. He hits snooze and I bury my face in the pillow. We lie there half-asleep for a while, clumsily stroking each other’s warm skin. Sex sounds like a nice idea, but we’re both a little too tired to make it happen. And when his alarm goes off for the third time, he grumbles and gets up.
