Darling
––––––––
THE SECOND I OPENEDmy eyes the next morning, I felt awful. What had I done? I’d broken his heart, and it’d been the least of my intentions. The pained look in his eyes haunted me and the guilt that accompanied it was unbearable.
I’d never hurt anyone in my life; physical or emotional. I’d always been mindful, thoughtful, considerate. I was always the one to go out of my way to avoid hurting even perfect strangers.
And now I’d broken my own unwritten rule. I’d not only hurt someone, but someone I’d grown so fond of.
I got out of bed, threw on my robe and headed out to find him and apologize. It was early and I suspected he had no early morning scenes to shoot.
Tiptoeing to his door, I gently knocked as I turned the doorknob. The door was unlocked, so typical of Ricky to not be preoccupied with that sort of thing.
I smiled at the sight of his clothes on the floor, just thrown about so carelessly, also so typical of Ricky. But then I saw something that wasn’t so typical, at least not in the conventional way.
A bra, bright pink with lace overlay. Pink panties, French cut...also lace.
My heart jumped up to my throat at the realization; he’d already moved on. He’d already forgotten about me and moved on.
“Who’s there?”a familiar feminine voice said as she sat up.
Our eyes locked; mine wide with shock, hers narrowed in wicked amusement.
I gasped.
“Good morning, Dar-r-ling,” Britney said. She pulled the sheet back, exposing her complete nudity. “Care to join us?”
Devastated. How silly of me to think that for one minute Ricky Stone could be devastated by little old me rejecting him. No. No, of course not. Truth was, he’d probably been waiting for a way out. He’d been planning this hook up with Britney since...Damn it! No doubt since the very moment he set eyes on her.
“Don’t look so shocked, Darling,” she quietly said as Ricky stirred slightly then continued to snore at her side. “You had to know that you weren’t enough woman for a man like Ricky. This is a man who needs a real woman, a hot woman. A woman who knows what a man needs.”
Gagging, I pulled back and closed the door, burning tears coming instantly to my eyes.
How could I have been so stupid. So gullible. So naïve!
I wanted to scream at my foolishness.
I turned to head back to my room and crossed a few of the actresses from the movie. They nodded and smiled and quietly said ‘good morning’.
Did they know? Did they know what a complete fool I was? Were they simply being kind and discreet?
When had Ricky hooked up with Britney? Was it a public affair that everyone witnessed? Was I the last to know? Or did he have an ounce of decency, and he’d kept his attraction to Britney to himself?
I rushed to my bedroom door, fumbled with the key to unlock it, then hurriedly threw the door open and finally breathed once the door was closed.
Gritting my teeth, I bit down on the scream that threatened to escape. I had to vent. I had to find a way to rid myself of this anger, of this self-hatred.
My room was quiet and still. Too quiet. Deafeningly so. I had to get out. I ran to my closet and grabbed a pair of jeans as I threw off my robe. I shimmied into the tight jeans and swapped my nightshirt for a green and blue checkered flannel.
With careless motions, I twirled my hair into a bun that I simply tucked under a ballcap, then threw on a pair of sneakers.
Although my vision was still blurry with tears, I hurried out of my room, down the stairs and out the door. Once outside I finally breathed freely. Thankfully, I’d crossed no other cast members or crew.
I couldn’t bear their sympathetic gazes.
Poor Darling, they must surely thought.She played around with the wrong playboy.
You’re such a silly girl. It was clear to everyone that he was just toying with you, just as he has always done.
