“Judging by the look on your face, you don’t have too many good memories of your time with her, do you?”
It was easy to imagine how difficult it might be to be with someone like Britney.
She pressed a tight smile. “Let’s just say, I would have preferred she prolong her honeymoon rather than curtail it.”
FOUR
Darling
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BRITNEY WAS BACK INtown, back at Barry Park. As we’d moved the production ofMansfield Parkfrom Moon Manor to Matt’s home, I’d never even considered the possibility of running into her.
Somehow, I’d managed to put all my memories of her aside, far back into some forgotten drawer in my mind. It had taken a while, years even. For so long, I’d felt small and insignificant.
Was it any wonder? Her every waking moment had been spent reinforcing the notion that she was big and important, and I was nothing. I was less than nothing.
After her little spectacle in front of the crew, I headed to my room, disgusted by her attitude and disappointed in myself for allowing it to affect me so.
I closed my bedroom door behind me and closed my eyes. I felt twelve again. Fourteen again. Sixteen. All the moments of my life at Barry Park were scarred. I’d thought I had healed, the scars old and forgotten. But they weren’t. They’d lie there, just under the surface, waiting for Britney to rip the bandage off and leave me aching once again.
Opening my eyes, I looked around. Matt had been kind enough to set me up in one of the more recently updated rooms. I’d initially feared he’d put me up in my childhood room, a small, unadorned room that had often been cold and lonely.
What would Britney say once she discovered that I had such a pretty room? A tantrum? Would she order Matt to set me up elsewhere?
It was almost impossible to enjoy the prettiness of my room. All I could see was Britney, and that evil gleam in her eye.
A knock at the door startled me.
“Darling? Are you in there?”
It was Matt. I glanced at the clock on the wall. Twenty minutes had passed since I’d returned to my room. For twenty minutes I’d replayed the lowlights of my childhood, thanks to Britney. For twenty minutes, I’d relived her hypocrisy, her cruelty, her jealousy and her pettiness.
“Yes,” I managed to say. “What is it?”
“I was hoping to have a chance to rehearse a few scenes with you. I think it’s important that we build a solid rapport before we start filming.”
