He looks up at me, eyes sharp but not unkind.
“But none of that is the root. You haven’t touched why you drink. Why you lied. Why you hid it. Why you avoided accountability. You haven’t touched the part of you that decided to escape instead of communicate.”
He leans forward slightly. “Being sober for one week doesn’t fix what drove you to drink in the first place.”
I swallow, my throat tight. Then I throw my hands up. “I don’t know why I drank, okay? I just… I couldn’t sit back and chill with a beer like I used to. And I mean-” I shrug helplessly. “I don’t know why I ever gave up drinking in the first place. EvenLore said I didn’t really have a problem. I just wanted to fix our relationship, so I did the first thing I could think of.”
Dr. Brett doesn’t react. “If you’re not an alcoholic, then why did you start drinking again after promising to stop?”
I exhale hard and sink back into the couch. “I had this nightmare. A recurring one. Lore was gone. Or she never existed at all. I’d be standing in our house, but it was empty. Completely bare. No pictures. No toys. No sound. Like our whole life had been erased.”
I drag both hands down my face.
“When I woke up, I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t fall back asleep. I kept picturing the place quiet like that. So, I went to the kitchen and grabbed the only thing left.”
My voice drops.
“I didn’t mean to finish the bottle. I swear I didn’t. I told myself I just needed a sip. Something to take the edge off. But tequila’s not even that strong. At least… it didn’t feel like it at the time. Because I woke up the next morning and the bottle was empty.”
I shake my head.
“I don’t even like tequila.”
Dr. Brett has been writing things down the entire time I’ve been talking. When I finish, he looks up at me over his glasses.
“You dreamed your life never existed. Why do you think that is?”
Of everything I said, he latches onto that. I shrug.
“The house looked like it did before we moved in.”
He studies me. “Why do you believe that’s part of your nightmare. Her gone. Your life erased.”
“How would I know,” I mutter.
Before he can push, a knock sounds at the door.
He stands and opens it. His body blocks the view at first, but when he steps aside to let the person in, I shoot to my feet.
Lore.
She doesn’t react. She just walks around Dr. Brett and takes the chair beside the sofa. I sit after a moment, feeling like a kid in trouble.
Silence stretches until I finally ask, “I didn’t think you were gonna come.”
She doesn’t look at me. “I had a doctor’s appointment.”
“I didn’t know you had one.”
“I never told you.”
“How’s the baby,” I ask quietly.
“Fine.”
I nod. “And work… how’s that. You never told me what happened with HR.”
“They fired Murphy,” she says softly.
