Eventually, we each reach forward and take our own. Tucking them into our pockets, we walk out of the office together.
The elevator ride is silent.
Outside, in the parking lot, the air is crisp. I pull my coat tighter around myself, warding off the chill.
I stop beside my car. Patrick slows beside me. For a moment, we just stand there… unsure of where we stand.
Then he reaches into his pocket, and I reach into mine. Quietly, without a single word, we exchange letters.
I open my mouth, when his phone buzzes sharply. He glances at the screen.
“I have a new case,” he says softly.
I nod, knowing what that means. “I love you.”
He leans down and presses his lips to mine. For a second neither of us moves. Not even to breathe until he breaks our connection. “I love you too.”
He backs away toward his car, eyes still on mine. Then, with a small wave, he climbs in, turns on the lights, and pulls out of the parking lot.
I stand there for a long moment, letter in hand, watching his taillights fade into the dark.
The parking lot feels too exposed, for what I’m about to read. Even if itisa therapist’s parking lot, I’m not opening this here.
Milo won’t be out of school until three.
Plenty of time to read, cry, reread, cry again.
At home, I pour myself a mug of decaf and settle onto the sofa. Tucking my legs beneath me, I pull a blanket over my lap. A small shiver rolls through me.
Moments like this, I wish I had a pet to snuggle.
A fluffy cat. A lazy dog. Something warm and alive to anchor me.
I once read that having eight hours alone is better than spending twenty-three in a kennel, and babies who grow up with pets form special bonds.
With thoughts of different breeds drifting through my head, I finally look down at the folded paper.
My stomach twists. Biting my bottom lip, I flip it open.
“This is stupid.”
A surprised laugh escapes me.
“A stupid letter isn’t gonna undo the most stupid fucking mistake you ever made.”
My eyes sting.
“You risked your life with the love of your life because you felt insecure. What happened doesn’t mean she loves you any less.”
My breath catches.
“But you’re gonna ruin everything if you don’t grow the hell up and talk to her. You could’ve told her you were hurt. Admitted you were scared. Instead, you drank, and you cheated on her with a woman you don’t know and don’t even like. Doesn’t matter how far it went; the fact it happened is something that will haunt you for the rest of your life.”
A tear slips down my cheek before I can stop it.
“She deserves better.”
I press the letter to my chest, eyes squeezed shut, and breathe through the ache spreading under my ribs.
