“Sorry,” I breathe.
She shakes her head. “I haven’t forgotten it. Any of it. Believe me.”
A lump forms in my throat. “We’re doomed, aren’t we?”
She steps away from me, only a few feet, but it feels like an entire world. She leans back against the railing of the gazebo, moonlight catching the shimmer in her eyes.
“I forgave you,” she says softly. “Back whenyoutold me. You, Patrick. I thought… okay. People screw up. People cheat. But he told me. He’s honest. He won’t do it again. Do you understand how much comfort that gave me? How much I clung to that?”
My heart clenches.
“And then,” she continues, voice cracking, “Right after we made love, I found out you lied. Not just about cheating. About drinking. About everything. How do I ever trust you again? I couldn’t even tell when you were lying.” Her voice drops to a whisper. “I can’t even tell if you’re lying now.”
“I wasn’t,” I say immediately, stepping forward before stopping myself. “Lore, this is the truth. I didn’t remember any of it, I mean… I had glimpses but not what happened because I never thought I’d do something like that, ever. When IA showed me the footage, I thought it was AI because I… I couldn’t recognize myself. I still can’t.”
My voice breaks, but I push through it. No hiding. No excuses.
“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell you,” I choke out. “I didn’t know. And that isn’t a defense. It’s accountability. Because blacking out, drinking that much, putting myself in a situation where cheating was even possible… that’s on me. That’s the work I’ve been doing this whole damn year.”
Lore studies my face like she’s inspecting my soul. She doesn’t blink. Doesn’t look away.
I swallow, throat tight. “So, the question is… can you learn to trust me?”
It feels like everything in the world holds its breath.
The trees.
The wind.
The stars above us.
Me.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Lorelie
Can you trust me?
Is that even a question a person can answer honestly in the moment?
I mean, do we do a trust fall? Do I trust him not to stab me? Then yes, obviously.
But if the question isam I sure he won’t relapse and end up in another bar with his tongue down some woman’s throat?
Then it’s amaybe.
It’s been weeks since Patrick asked me that question under the stars, and I still don’t have a clean answer. Every time I think I’m close, another thought pulls me back.
Christmas came and went. We ended up spending it apart, no big dramatic reasoning, just life.
Harvey had a massive blowout with his parents and left for Seattle at the beginning of December whether to follow Lauren or get away, he didn’t clarify
Chloe came by to “apologize.” I put that in quotes because it was less an apology and more her complaining about Eloise, and somehow circling the conversation back to whyshewas hurt. When she realized Eloise and I had already made up, she left so fast I’m pretty sure the backdraft closed the door.
Colter took Eloise to Hawaii for Christmas. Probably the healthiest choice anyone in that family made this year.
Patrick, Gen, and I had planned a quiet Christmas, just breakfast and presents with the kids, something small and meaningful, but Patrick got called into work. A missing child.
