But then I notice the small things. The pitcher of water I always kept beside the bed is gone. My dumbbells aren’t in the corner. One side of the curtain is coming loose, too high for her to reach.
I lower her onto the bed gently.
She looks around. “I didn’t change much.”
I nod. “I see.”
She scoots back as I fuss with the comforter, fluff her pillows, make sure she is settled. When I turn to leave, I stop at the doorframe.
“Thank you,” I say softly. “For giving us another chance.”
She meets my eyes, hers tired from the day. “Please don’t make me regret it.”
I want to promise her. I want to swear I never will. But I know I can’t give her guarantees I’m not strong enough to uphold.
So, I don’t say anything.
I just smile, hoping she can see the truth in it. I know I will never touch another woman again; and I’ll never lie to Lore. But the pull of the bottle lives somewhere deeper. I wish I could say it vanished the moment she forgave me. It didn’t. I used to think despair was the reason I drank, but now I understand something worse.
Even happiness wakes the thirst.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Lorelie
“So, are you two back together?” Gen asks as she drops sideways onto my bed.
I shrug. “Not yet.”
“But you are going on a date.”
“Yes,” I say while applying lip liner.
“That does not go,” she announces.
I make a face. “Yes it does.”
She snorts and throws another one at my head. “Try this one.”
I wipe off the one I just put on and use the shade she tossed. Turning my head sideways, I study my reflection.
Gen smirks. “Told you.”
I ignore her, even though she is right. The mirror in my bedroom is perfect for this. Sure, I could do my makeup in the bathroom, but I like sitting cross-legged on the floor, everything spread around me like I am sixteen again.
“I wasn’t sure,” I say, lifting a shoulder. “About the divorce. I know people shouldn’t stay together for the kids, but I owe it to them and to myself. So, I don’t go the rest of my life wondering.”
“You’re doing this for closure?” she asks.
I squint at my eyeliner, adjusting the angle. “Not closure exactly. It’s just… the way I kicked him out.”
I pause, letting the memory settle in my chest.
“I was hurt. Angry. And I meant every word I said back then. But now, that the anger has passed.” I take a deep breath, “I don’t know, I guess I want to see what’s left. Or what could be.”
Gen sits up. “So, you want another shot.”
I roll my eyes. “I want clarity.”
