He’d placed Iviry by the side of the upper deck, himself pressed against her, and with every move of her chest, his own rose and lowered in rhythm, a slow beat that started a pounding in his blood and a buzzing in his ears.
He wasn’t sure which of them did it, but the hand he’d kept folded around hers moved tolace their fingers together, wrapping around each other’s so perfectly it was as if they were made for one another.
Loche drew a shallow breath as he lifted his eyes to hers, and he’d anticipated the jolt that would follow, but it still shook him from his scalp to his bare feet. The playful smile he’d kept on his face as they sneaked out faded, but he couldn’t stop looking into her eyes.
Gone was the hardness from earlier—the one that made them sparkle as she fought rebels, or addressed their people, or tried to get to her friends. Instead, there was a vulnerability in them, accentuated by the red lines from when she must have been crying before he came to get her, that made her look so much younger than the centuries he knew she was.
A small wrinkle twisted the skin between her brows, and had his hands not been occupied, Loche would have reached up to smooth it out. He wanted to tell her it would all be okay. That they’d be okay. But no words passed his lips.
“What are you doing?” Iviry whispered when he just continued staring at her.
“Taking you in,” he responded, not bothering to hide the awe in his voice.
“And what’s your conclusion?” Iviry asked softly, the slight widening of her eyes making Loche believe she hadn’t meant to do so out loud.
His mouth twitched. “That I am a very lucky man.”
She scoffed, and the tension broke when Iviry slapped on the smile he’d already understood was her armor against the world—the one that made her look ethereal but terrifying.
Flicking her hair over a shoulder, her voice filled with seduction as she said, “Oh, Iknow. I am very beautiful.”
It was fake and wrong, and he wanted to shake her—make her understand that wasn’t what he’d meant. At least not only what he meant. But she sidestepped him, and her voice kept that cool distance as she flicked her eyes to the mast crawling up toward the sky beside them, leading to a small rounded platform that Loche had cleared for the night.
“I assume that’s where we are going?” Iviry didn’t wait for a response as she hoisted herself up, moving so fast Loche wondered if she’d done it before.
With more voices floating his way, he followed, moving slower and more steadily. Only because of the bottle in his hand, he tried to tell himself, but when Iviry arched her brows at him, her feet dangling as if she’d sat on the platform forever, he sighed and, despite the surging in his gut, followed her lead and used the ropes to pull himself up the last bit.
His hand slipped at the last moment, and the regent wasn’t proud of it, but a sharp hiss escaped his throat before a strong hand wrapped around his wrist, helping him crawl over the edge of the wooden platform.
“Thank—” he started.
“That’s what I am for, no? Keeping you and our people alive. That’s what my life is now.” Iviry kept her gaze on the starry sky spreading out above the fleet of ships sailing through the Eiatis Sea, the image of the sails whispering over the calm waters so serene that Loche almost forgot they were heading to war.
“Stop,” Loche said as he took the spot beside her, trying not to react when the heat rushed up his back from her leg settling against his. “Just… stop.”
“Stop what, husband?” Iviry said, her smile mocking him until he felt like snarling in the same way Merrickalways did when someone dared to say anything he didn’t agree with in regard to Lessia.
“Stop with the fake shit.” Loche clenched his teeth. “Yes, our duty is to our people. Butwife…” Loche turned toward her, and after taking a big sip from the bottle, he shoved it into her hands. “We also swore our loyalty to each other. I know today wasn’t what you’ve dreamed of—neither the marriage nor the position—but I am here for you. I will stand beside you. I will protect you, and if you let me, I?—”
“But it was what I’ve dreamed of,” Iviry interrupted, her long fingers tracing the bottle, playing with the dust lining it. “That’s the worst part. I always dreamed of being a leader—I just couldn’t stand it under Rioner. And I never—never!—gave up hope to find my mate. Today I got both of those things, but…”
“It’s not what you expected.”
Their eyes met with understanding for a long moment, and hope fluttered in Loche’s chest when the toughness left her features with each passing second.
“I know,” Loche said when Iviry lifted the bottle to her lips and gulped down several mouthfuls. “I cried every night for a whole week when I became regent.”
Iviry started shaking her head, a scoff leaving her.
“I did.” Loche waved for the bottle as he interrupted her movement. “Like a baby. Zaddock had to hold me down for hours so I wouldn’t get on a ship and leave, never looking back.”
Iviry’s lips twisted, and Loche took another deep swig of liquor as he made himself tell her the things he’d never spoken about before—the ones he and Zaddock pretended had never happened.
“Laugh all you want, but it’s true. I hated it. I hated itwith every fiber of my being. I felt like I was drowning, and all the people around me were just cheering it on as more and more weight piled on top of me, dragging me deeper.” He took another sip, unsure whether it was Iviry’s foot touching his or the liquor that sent swells of heat through him.
“Every time I had to go meet with the nobles, I’d have to get Zaddock or someone else within my closest guard to make me angry. It didn’t matter what they did—hit me, say horrible things—I welcomed it all because it allowed me to use that anger as a protection. But Iviry…” Loche set the bottle down and placed his hands in his lap, mirroring the fiery-haired Fae beside him. “I was miserable. For years, I was miserable.”
He could feel her eyes follow his as his hand moved to her thigh, and when she didn’t push him away, he let his fingers whisper over her leather-clad leg, drawing small circles that made every nerve within him spark.
