He hated this part of being a leader.
The games. The charades. The masks they all had to wear.
And now he’d have to continue them in his private life too? The one he’d so fiercely protected to stay sane amidst judging nobles, people watching his every move, all the fake shit that flew from his mouth to protect his people… the one he’d given Lessia a glimpse into because she’d seen him—had seen Loche, not the harsh regent everyone expected.
The warmth from Iviry’s being so close was replaced with cold dread. He’d not been able to quash the hope that he and Iviry could find that. Loche could see it in her, too—the shield she wrapped around herself whenever people were around—the one forged with smiles and winks and touches, and that didn’t fool him one bit. But she seemed determined to keep that defense up with him as well.
“Loche!”
He shook his head when Zaddock called his name, andhis friend must have noticed that he hadn’t been listening because he sighed before he spoke again. “Dedrick is right. People are scared, Loche. There is a restlessness that will turn dangerous—that will make them turn on each other—before we even have time to try to face the Oakgards’ Fae. They… People may not be on this ship, but they hear things… They know what happens on this one.”
There was real fear in Zaddock’s eyes—the kind he usually reserved for the blonde Amalise, but that now seemed to have taken permanent residence within his blue gaze.
“People don’t believe you… yet,” Venko added, his voice lowering. “They’re… they’re saying you couldn’t even convince your mother, regent, so why should they believe you’ll be the one to unite Havlands?”
Iviry’s fingers dug into his arm, and Loche shifted so that he could face her, but it seemed as if she realized what she was doing because she quickly released him, stepping back and offering the group a sharp nod.
“I’ll do better,” Iviry said. “I… I can see where I’ve erred.”
“We,” Loche added, unsure why his voice sounded so rough as he captured her eyes. “We will do better.”
His fucking mother wasn’t about to cause more trouble to Havlands than she’d already done. He carried no guilt for leaving her to rot with the few rebels who remained loyal and the Oakgards’ Fae who’d refused to side with them. She deserved it. But…
“Tell the people that I left myown motherin that cell because of what I believe in, because of what we will make happen.” Loche’s voice strengthened when Iviry nodded again. “Iviry and I will begin going to differentships during the day, training with the people on them to show how we will fight as one.”
Dedrick broke in. “That’s good. I think we also need to fuel the people’s hope by giving them something to look forward to each day. Festivities, dinners, singing… Whatever we can do to keep their spirits up will help us in the end.”
Festivities… Loche couldn’t help but roll his eyes. They were going to war!
“We’ll do it,” Iviry said softly, her eyes sliding to his and for once staying there, not flicking away at whatever she saw in his hard ones. “If we need to spend every waking moment together, throwing dinners and parties and showing our people we’re serious… we will.”
Zaddock’s pinched face turned Loche’s way, and Loche threw his head back even before his friend mumbled, “The guards talk. They know you’re not sleeping in the same chambers…”
Even Iviry’s fake smile fell at that, and before anyone could stop her, she walked away with a choked “I’ll go move my things.”
Loche’s teeth slammed together as he spun around as well. When someone asked, “Where are you going?” he hissed over his shoulder, “To spend time with my betrothed, so can you please get off this damn ship,” before forcing in a hand to stop the door swinging shut behind Iviry and storming through it.
Fuck, the Fae were fast, Loche thought as he reached the cabins beneath deck. Iviry was already throwing clothing and weapons from her room into his own, making a jumbled mess on the floor.
Walking up to the doorframe leading into his room and leaning against it, Loche trailed his eyes over theflying things and Iviry’s erratic movements, trying to make out the soft stream of words leaving her mouth.
When he realized it was every curse word he knew, and quite a few that he didn’t, he chuckled, and the sound had Iviry snap straight.
Her eyes bored into his as she snarled, “What’s so funny?”
Loche’s mouth twitched at the red spots on her cheeks, and despite the situation not being amusing in the slightest, another chuckle forced its way through his throat.
Iviry’s eyes narrowed into slits. “I. Said. What’s so fucking funny?”
He shook his head, the laughter fading when he heard the slight tremble in her voice. “Nothing. I… I just… This isn’t usually how women enter my bedroom.”
That was not the right thing to say, based on the hiss flying through Iviry’s teeth.
“What do you want from me?” She started throwing her stuff again, and Loche had to jump out of the way when a dagger came flying—one he hoped she hadn’t purposely aimed at his heart.
“I don’t usually stay with men who don’t want me there,” she continued, her voice breaking, which only seemed to fuel the rage in which her clothes and other items were being propelled into his room. “Believe it or not, I have no trouble finding men who would do a-anything for me to marry them.”
Something vulnerable wound its way into what he suspected she’d meant to be a sharp retort, and before he could second-guess himself, he walked across his own room into hers.
