Funny, I’m pretty sure we all said the same thing to Ruby about her dad’s memory coming back the day she went missing.
But with each hour, each day that passes without a single speck of hope, the fear builds. That my once perfectly imperfect Peaches is lost. And I’m going to be lost without her. Forever.
“Kooper,” Mad Max calls from across the yard. He’s standing with his girl, and they make no move to come to me.
I mosey over to them after I toss my cigarette. Been smoking a bit more lately. I see Mama Bear’s worry each timeshe catches me lighting one, but she knows to keep her trap closed. Smoking brings me out of the clubhouse. And usually if I’m out, then I’m driving around looking for my girl. Taking these few moments, as unhealthy as they are for me, is at least giving me some time to stop running around and finding nothing at each end of the trail.
“Yeah?”
“Think you can give Fairy a lift to the bakery? She put in an order for some fresh shit and needs to pick it up. I’ve got to head to the hospital.”
We’ve all been taking turns watching over Atom. He’s recovering, but slowly. The guy got lucky. One bullet can kill you, but sometimes four just leave scars.
Law’s out of the hospital now. He’s been at his place and the club a few times. With everything going on, it’s hard to welcome him back in when he doesn’t have a connection like the rest of us. Like he should. He stays away more to ease the guilt on our faces than his.
As for the brothers, none are taking things for granted. Protection duty is on all of them till this is sorted. Hell, Mad Max was like this with his old lady even before this shit. Always wanting her covered when he wasn’t there, even if she can handle herself like a pro with her throwing knives—something I’ve seen her carry more and more lately. I’m not sure if that’s at her request or his, but it’s something I wish I had Ruby learn how to use. Anything, really, that could have been used as a weapon to help her.
“Sure.” I catch the keys he tosses me to one of the club trucks we keep around for shit that needs moving.
He grabs his woman and, in no hurry, seals his lips to hers. She hops into his arms easily as he lifts her under herthighs. She’s tiny compared to him, and this isn’t something new. I look away while they groan and moan into each other.
Another time, my dick would have taken notice. What can I say? If something sounds like porn, my body reacts. Even if I ain’t interested in the parties involved. But without Peaches, nothing is fulfilling. I can’t even seem to get hard enough to jack off.
Guess I finally understand how Law felt. Well, when he remembered Special K. He always said he never needed another woman once she died. That he had enough memories to satisfy him. Though maybe it wasn’t the spank bank keeping him out of the dating life but the fact that without her here, he just didn’t have a desire to get hard. She took a part of him—the part that can make life—away when she went.
Like Ruby has.
“Be safe,” Mad Max says as he sets her down, and her head twitches to mold to the hand he places on her cheek.
“We’re in the truck, and it has the best features for a collision, should one occur, with multiple airbags and a steel frame to keep from tipping. It also has protective glass to prevent bullets or other things from getting at me through the window.”
“I know.” He doesn’t laugh at her. None of us do. It’s just Fairy being Fairy. Saying the facts and not giving in to the emotion behind things.
He nods at me and then walks back into the clubhouse.
I head toward the trucks, using the fob to start it up before we get close to verify which one it is. I don’t mind doing side shit like this. It keeps me busy. The first five days, I was riding everywhere. Didn’t sleep. Hardly ate. It was Mama Bear who sat me down and said that if I was going to kill myself, I should just let the brothers do it already so they could plan the funeral and get back to work. She was pissed. At me. At the club. Everyone. Ruby called Mama Bear her sister once. Special K was a savior to Mama Bear before she became part of the club and even before Mama Bear knew anything about this place. But they had a connection. One Ruby used and embraced like a true sister. And that sister was mad.
And she let me have it. Mostly calling me stupid if she thought her sister, my woman, was going to be okay with coming home and seeing me as just half a man. Someone lost in the hunt and barely recognizable.
So I ate. I slept. I spoke to my brothers. I did things asked of me. But I still hunted. I still thought about her. I did everything for her. I called the school and put a hold on her shit. Got her and Nat’s apartment sorted. Had the guys take out her trash and clean out her fridge. I buried my friends and brought in my others. They’re with us, but not in the club. I keep looking at data, at all the feeds, over and over. I have Flint send me everything he goes through each day, and I go over it again.
No one asks me to stop. They know I won’t listen. I barely listened to Mama Bear, but she got through to me when the others didn’t. Not because she begged me to stop. Not because she told me to. It was because she said I was doing it for my old lady, andshe’dbe the one who would be pissed at me.
That’s why I keep going. For Peaches. She might never come home. I might never find her. But it’s that “might” that keeps me going. That keeps me strong. And it’s also that “might” that I fear. Because a pissed-off Ruby is as terrifying as it is a turn-on.
“Hey, Fairy, Kooper.” I open the truck door and look back to see Kitten running after us. “Wait up.” She hops into the truck a second later. “I forgot to add a hot chocolate to the order.”
The girl has a sweet tooth issue for sure. But what do I care? If driving Miss Daisy around is what’s needed today, then that’s what I’ll do. After, I can go back to looking for my girl.
The drive takes no time. We don’t have a ton of variety in our town. A few things here and there, enough to not be upset that we live out here. Couple of places to eat, a few chain restaurants, but only one bakery on this side of town. And the only decent one in a fifty-mile radius.
A spot is open in the front, and I pull into it. The girls give me the decency of staying in the truck while I check things out before I walk over and let them both out. They know the drill—quick and to the point. We enter the bakery with no fuss. This place knows the club, and we know it. Enough to know that we feel good here. I’ve also got a ten-to-one bet that Flint has already hacked their surveillance and is watching everything. Like Mad Max, he worries about his old lady and keeps a close eye on his Kitten when he can.
The owner, Dom, tells us to wait as he goes into the back for our order, and Kitten orders a very large hot chocolate at the register. When we get our shit, I walk to the door first. I don’t hold anything, keeping my hands free incase I need to pull the weapon that I’ve kept strapped to me for days.
“It’s you.”
Kitten’s words have me turning to see her staring at some Asian businesswoman drinking a coffee and reading a book.
