I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. Next thing I know, I’ll find out my favorite gamer is him. Wouldn’t that be funny?
Fuck. The name is Bowser. It is him.
I’m such an idiot.
I shake my head at myself and everything else. I was so wrapped up in expecting people to tell me the truth that I overlooked the lies. “I’m over the secrecy. All the lies. The half-truths. I can’t take it anymore. So if you’ve got something to say, now is the time to say it.”
I glance at her and hold her eyes for longer than I should while driving before I look back at the road. But I don’t miss her shaking her head out of the corner of my eye.
“Good.”
The rest of the drive is quiet as we head to the hospital. I don’t know why I came. Maybe because I really am a glutton for punishment. I know Dad hasn’t gotten his memory back yet. I would have been called, despite everything going on.
But I still want to see him. I might not talk to him, but I will see him. I just haven’t decided what I want to do yet.
Nat follows me into the hospital and down all the corridors that lead to my dad’s room. King’s sitting outside, so Mad Max must be in there. He gives me a chin lift but says nothing. Either someone texted him about what went down, or he just remembers my original decree. I don’t want to talk to any of them. Now more than ever.
As I get close to the door, the handle moves, and out walks the nurse.Thenurse. One look at her has me spinning on my heels.
“I’m not trying to replace your mom,” she calls out, obviously not caring if she causes a scene or even loses her job over this with all the rules about decorum and other professional bullshit they always seem to have in workplaces.
She’s bold. Bold enough to get me to turn back and put my hands on my hips before I reply. “How can you? He doesn’t even recall who she is. If there is no Mom, there is no me.”
She opens her mouth to protest, I’m sure. To give me some sad little speech about how my dad needs me and he’ll remember. How everything will be okay. But it’s all a lie. Complete and utter shit.
I take three steps and get right in her face, jabbing my finger at the door that’s just to our left. “And there sure ain’t any him. Not in there. No Dad. Only Law. Because if that was the man I knew, my dad, he would never, ever, look at another woman.” I look her over like the trash she is. Or what I want her to be. Her makeup isn’t harsh like the vamps. She’s not slutting it up or even attempting to make this about her. But I can’t look past my own anger to see her as anything but not being my mom. “He loved Mom so much that even in death, she was his whole world. You aren’t her. And him?” I point to his room. “He isn’t him either. He died, just like I did.”
The door opens on my last words, and I see Mad Max on the other side. Not only him, but my dad, who’s sitting up in bed and staring at me. He heard me. I’m sure the whole damn place heard me. Because when I talk lately, everyoneelse shuts up and listens. Swell time for that to start. Why couldn’t it have been sooner? When I gave a damn. Or had the strength to, anyhow. Now, all I want to do is go home, crawl under the covers, and never come out. Ever.
“Let’s go, Nat. This is another place I no longer need to be.”
I decide on the way out that I need to get Nat a gift. At the very least, I’ll spring for her favorite pizza. With all the shit going on today, she keeps going, standing beside me the whole way. She doesn’t say a lot, but I don’t need words. I just need someone to be with me and walk when I say walk. Might seem like I’m in need of a control thing, and maybe I am. Everything else is spiraling; I have to know that I can get something my way. No matter how childish and barbaric it sounds that bossing around my roommate makes me feel as if I have some control in life.
As we pass through the glass doors, I see Atom walking up.
“Surprised you’re not Koop.”
The guy really doesn’t know when to stop coming after me. I can’t tell if I like that or not. Okay, fine, I do. But right now, I’m happy it isn’t him I have to deal with. Instead, I get to deal with a biker who knows I slept with someone in the club. Not my finest moment, telling everyone. But again, I’m over the secrets.
“He’s getting his ass kicked for touching Law’s kid.”
“What?” I look at Natalie as if she’d have some clue on how that makes sense, but her mouth is hanging open just as much as mine is. “We’re adults. We can do whatever the fuck we want. It’s not like he did anything when I was underage or some shit.”
He crosses his arms in indifference. “Doesn’t matter. He knows he can’t touch you.”
“Seriously? Dad has no clue who I am. The rule is null and void.”
“He might not, but we do. He went against Law. He went against us all. You really think we think so little of you that we wouldn’t care if some guy touched you? You don’t think we wouldn’t have vetted him? Like we did with every other guy who’s come close to you? But he was in the club.Pretendingto be your protection, when in fact he was just playing daddy to a girl who didn’t know better. Sick fuck will get everything he deserves. He manipulated you.”
“He was protecting me. And he didn’t make me do anything. No one can.”
“Says the woman who’s here at the hospital when she said she was done.” He raises an eyebrow to prove a point. The only point I see him proving is that he’s an ass.
“Hey, Natalie.” He tosses her a chin lift, and the surprised look on her face is almost comical. Not sure if it’s because of what he just said to me, calling me out on doing everything I denied earlier, or that he remembered her name. I know they’ve met before, but I don’t think they’ve said more than a handful of words to each other.
Hearing about Kooper is not helping me figure anything out. I’m confused about my feelings. Do I like him? Have we been dating? Was I manipulated?
Is Kooper my daddy?
