“We know a lot about the brain, but we will never understand it all. No one knows why some get forgotten and others don’t. He had a lot of blood loss, and there was some brain injury. The stress of his death, the two times he coded, could have been traumatic enough to add more stress on the brain and cause more issues.”
“But why me? Why Mom? Why not you? The club? You’re the ones who did this to him! I was the only one who cared. Who loved him like… like Mom.” My voice cracks on a sob, and I close my mouth tight to swallow it.
General just shakes his head. “I don’t know, kid. I don’t. We can try a few things, see if that triggers it.”
I brush the stupid tears that breach my eyelids off my face. I didn’t allow them to fall. There are just too many to keep them from overflowing. “How long?”
“For what?” General moves his head to look me in the eye. I keep looking away from him, not liking what he’s saying. “Till he gets it back?”
I nod and wipe more tears.
He’s silent. So silent that I have to look up and keep eye contact with him before he continues. “Sometimes days. Sometimes longer.”
“Is it permanent?”
“In rare cases.”
At least he’s telling me the truth. I close my eyes and let it sink in. All of it. Everything for the past few months. His death. His “rebirth.” And now this. Awake but doesn’t know me.
Jesus, how much more can I take?
I turn and walk away.
“Where’re you going?” General calls out.
“I have class,” I mumble. Then I stop and stare back at General before my eyes flick to Kooper. “If he starts to remember me, call me. I’ll be back later.”
Both of them nod, and I head back to the parking lot. I ignore every person who tries to talk to me, asking about dad, seeing if he’s okay. I walk around them all and get into my car. I hear the rumble of a motorcycle close by but don’t pay it any mind as I drive away.
It’s been pure hell these last months. If I thought losing my dad and best friend was bad, I was wrong. Seeing him awake gave me so much hope, but then having him forget me? Forget Mom? Forget everything but the damn club?
I can’t function.
So when I get home, not to class, I don’t berate myself as I head upstairs and into my house, not paying enough attention to know if I shut and locked doors behind me, or even if Nat’s here.
I just fall onto my bed, close my eyes, and pray that I wake up from this nightmare.
Chapter 23—Kooper
Amnesia? Fuck. That’s the last thing anyone ever thought. Death would have been kinder to her than this. I saw it the moment she shattered. The moment her bubble popped and pain ate at her heart.
I follow her home. I can’t trust my equipment. I need to see with my own eyes that she makes it back okay.
And when I see her leave almost every door open as she goes into her place, I know I need to do more. Not just to keep her safe, but to let her know she isn’t alone. I lock her car and shut the door, then go upstairs and do the same with her apartment.
I make a note that her place is empty and get to her room. I don’t know if she hears me or not. I see her shaking, trembling, and then I hear it. Her cries. The pain of losing her dad all over again.
I shut her bedroom door, kick off my shoes, hang up my vest on the back of her desk chair, and curl myself around her.
She doesn’t even flinch as I hold her. And that scares me. She’s so lost in her grief that she’s left herself unprotected. But that’s what I’m here for—to protect her when she can’t protect herself.
“Shh, Peaches, shh.”
My words have her crying more, and then she turns and buries herself in my chest. I try not to find joy in this. Trynot to see it as anything but her seeking out human touch in her time of need.
But I fail. Because while I try to be a good guy, I’m not. I’m a selfish prick. And having Ruby in my arms brings a soft sigh from my lips.
I hold her for hours, well into the night. She falls asleep at some point. I should wake her, knowing she’ll want to check back in on her dad, but I don’t. She hasn’t slept well in months, just short naps and less than five hours a night. She’s running on fumes, if that. She needs time to rest. To fully rest.
