I shook my head at her, and she snorted. Nothing sexy about it, but I’d rather get a response than nothing at all. “No, we didn’t. He did die. Twice. Once on the floor of the warehouse, then coded on the operating table.”
She didn’t like that. I knew she read the charts. She’d demanded that General give her everything. She’s smart enough to read it all and understand it, while most of that shit is mumbo jumbo to me. “That’s bullshit. You know it’s bullshit.”
It might have been bullshit wording, but it was the truth. And I needed her to see it from our standpoint. To understand that what we said wasn’t a lie. A fabricated truth? Yeah. But we never lied to her.
Inever lied. Not directly. Everything I’ve ever said to her has been the truth. She might not see it that way, but I do.
I remember her anger dying out at my words. Her arms coming up in a cross over her body to hold herself. Something I wished I’d done for her. Even if she fought me, I could have held her till the fight went out of her or till she felt like things weren’t falling apart. Or just accepting my embrace, or me.
But none of that happened. I just stood and watched her from a distance. I could see her. Shattered. Hurting. Bleeding out. And yet I did nothing, unsure of what would be the right move. Tell her more? Tell her how I feel? Have her lash out at me and dispute my feelings or just crush them because she’s hurting? I can see her doing either. Or nothing.
She hasn’t said anything about the kiss. The one that kept me up for hours. Still does. Maybe it meant nothing to her.
“I know you’re hurting. We all do. We did what we did to keep you safe. We’re still doing that. Once your dad wakes, he’ll tell you the same thing. This was all for your protection. And maybe then you can see it from our side, and things will go back to the way they were.”
She slowly raised her face, her eyes menacing as she looked at me. If she were a witch, I’d have been smitten on the spot. “What if I don’t want it to go back? What if I want a change?”
I shrugged and let my hands fall. “That’s your choice. I’ll support whatever it is you want.” And if she so happened to want things to change between us and not just get back to babysitting duty, I’d be okay with that too. Way okay with it.
She snorted a laugh that didn’t sound as amusing as it was haunting. “Oh, I just bet.”
My head went back as if I’d been hit in slow motion as I looked at the ceiling briefly. I got it. She didn’t wantthatkind of change either. I stuck my hands in my pockets and waited for her to say more. I knew she wasn’t done when her hands fell to her sides and she took a step in my direction.
“Look,whenmy dad wakes up, the only thing I want from you or the club is to pay the damn hospital bill and then get the fuck out of our lives. You’ve done enough. First Mom, and now Dad. I’m sick and tired of the club taking everything from me and getting nothing in return. Maybe Abigail was right to reach out to a more accepting group. At least with them, you know going in it’s all smoke screens and daggers. They don’t pretend to like you and treat you differently just to get a cheap thrill.”
She was centimeters away from me, her face tilted up to look at me while mine was tipped down.
“It was never a cheap thrill.” My voice was soft but held weight.
Her eyes flared for only a second.
“I don’t care. Don’t want to hear it. Won’t happen again, so why the fuck bring it up? Never happened in my mind, so keep it that way with yours.”
We were so close. A hairsbreadth apart. She swayed toward me and then back. I held as still as I could and tried not to fall for the magnetic pull of her lips on mine. I wanted to crash down on them so badly that I felt physical pain. But I didn’t. And after a few blinks, she realized it too.
“Now get the fuck out of my way. I’ve got class.”
She pushed past me, and I watched her go, not giving a fuck if a brother saw me looking at her. Atom might haveheard what was said, maybe guessed on the context. But he knew shit about what was really going on.
How could he when I don’t know what the fuck is happening either? Over the last few months, I’ve kept out of her way. Mostly. I watch her. When I’m not physically there, I have cameras. Systems tracking. And when the Hounds pull me for club work, I’ve got people willing to come in and take over for me.
Once Jumper and I get the green light, I’ve got a team ready on standby. The brothers don’t know about it. It’s not that I don’t trust them—they can keep their mouths shut if they try—I just don’t want to involve anyone just yet. Having my team step in is easy work compared to telling the Hounds that I’m interested in Law’s daughter.
Might be more expensive and a fuck ton of logistics to get people in place when I need them, but that seems like a piece of cake compared to bringing in family.
This is messy. All of it. I get that. And I’ve gone to great pains to keep it away from everyone. Not that I’m ashamed of what I feel or for how I feel, but because of who I feel it for. She doesn’t need this shit.Myshit. Till I know what she wants, without the anger and grief and pain, I’ll hold back.
But the second I see her shift an inch in my direction, the kid gloves are off and I’m all in. I’m just waiting for that moment. No matter how long it takes.
Everyone thinks a sniper is the most long-gamed person on the battlefield. And sure, they wait and are patient most of the time. But a Diplomatic Security Service member? Our long game comes in the form of thinking ten steps ahead. Of having contingencies for contingencies. We have anendgame—keep the assignment alive. No matter how long or how difficult it is. We look and plan for every possibility. Ones we like and ones we don’t.
And we never stop. Not till the assignment is dead or a new one takes over. Law gave me one assignment. No one has taken me off it. And while my job is to keep Ruby alive, I also plan to be by her side while I do it.
“If you want me off the roster sheet, say it. Don’t pussyfoot your way around it,” I say to Casper but don’t look at him. My jaw is tight from him thinking I’m not ready. I’m more than ready. Bass even cleared me of all physical shit two months ago. Sure, I take it easy, and General bitches that I need more help, but I’m cleared to do jobs.
Unless the president says otherwise.
I look at him out of the corner of my eye and watch him weigh his words before he speaks. “Flint has a call with Domino in an hour. You’ll know then if you’re going.” He pats me on the back and leaves. Taking my appetite with him.
