I shake my head, then turn around and head to my room. I just want to shut things out for a bit. Just a little. I’ll pull myself together and go back to pretending enough for others to not notice me tomorrow.
I shut the door and lean my head back against it. Dad would be heartbroken if he were here. He took Abigail in after her brother died. She was like a sister, even though she still stayed away more than not. She said it was too hard to be around us all and not remember him. Maybe we should have tried harder to bring her in. She was like me, an outsider to both the club and the town. Not fitting in. But unlike her, at least I had Dad.
But now, I’m just like her.
Wonder if I’ll betray the club too.It’s a passing thought. One I know will go nowhere. Because despite losing dad, I still grew up here. I have more good memories here than bad. My friends are here. I might be pushing them away a bit, but they’re still here, keeping me grounded in their own way.
A knock at the door makes me sigh. Mafia boy just isn’t getting the hint.
“I told you no,” I say as I open the door, then stop talking when I see who it is.
“Told who no?” Kooper’s eyes narrow. Then his arms cross. “And why?”
I shake my head to dispel the trance I was in for a second from just seeing him here. Last time he was at my door was when he came to my apartment and told me my rent was going down. Since then, he’s never actually been on one side of a door and me on the other.
“Nothing.”
“Doesn’t seem like nothing.”
His tone has my teeth clenching. And despite me saying I’m numb, he gets me riled up, and I just start barking back as if nothing’s changed between us. “What happens between me and mafia boy ain’t your problem.”
But things have changed. I just… I just don’t understand them. Okay, fine, I do, but I don’t want to. It’s confusing, and that’s one thing I’m not going to focus on. I can’t handle confusing after everything else.
He steps into my room, and I back up on autopilot, cursing myself once I realize I let go of the door and it swings shut.
Having a man in my room is no big deal. I’m close to the brothers. They stop in all the time to bullshit. But Kooper has never been one of them. And none of them have history with me like he does. No one saw me cry. No one held me. Not one of them was someone I hoped to have close before.
I grew up in the club. Most are family, if not stepbrothers who I’ve never wanted but learned to deal with. Sure, I had a crush on a few here and there, but nothing came of it, as I knew they were off-limits. My dad would never allow me nor them to do anything.
But… that was when he was alive. With him gone, the rule doesn’t seem to apply anymore.
He once told me he didn’t want to come into work and hear about me fucking some brother. The thought that I was going to be “office” chatter really bugged him. He didn’t want to know about me doing anything with a boy, but definitely not with a brother. Especially since he’d probably seen more than half of them do things with a vamp that no father should ever imagine their little girl doing.
But with him gone, even if the boys talk, he won’t hear it.
Not that I plan to go sleeping around with every available brother I see. Though if I did, the brothers I picked wouldn’t be dicks enough to talk about it. They respected my father and still do.
Not that I’m thinking about it. And I’m absolutely not thinking about doing anything with Kooper. He was just there when I was vulnerable. He saw me at a weak point, and no pity ever crossed his face. Something I appreciate in him more than any other feature a man can have.
“You and Tommy got something going?”
I glare as I put my hands on my hips. “And if we do? What’s it to you?”
“Nothing. Just expected more from you is all.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means your dad would be pissed. He’s not even in the ground for a month, and you’re looking to replace him.”
My jaw goes slack, and I feel it drop. “I am not.”
“You sure about that?”
“Look.” I move in close and poke him in the chest. “You don’t get to tell me what to do. If anyone is trying to replace Dad, it’s you. I don’t need a daddy. Besides, Tommy is a flirt. That’s it. I see his type daily. I’m not going to run after one, especially one who lives so far away. It would be hell on the phone bill from all the phone sex.” I smirk as I turn and walk away, only to turn back and drop my smile.
If I thought I’d deterred him, like I would my father, I was mistaken. Because unlike Dad, who hated any talk about sex or kissing or me doing anything with a boy, Kooper just grins.
“If it takes that long on the phone, he ain’t doing it right.”
