Dylan’s mentality toward her sexuality was irritating, to say the least. When she had finally told him, they’d been exclusively dating for a year and a half. They’d been watching a movie at home, and when the credits began to roll, Jamie said it.
“Dyl. I’m bisexual.”
It was such a simple statement, and she wasn’t sure what reaction she had expected, but his laughing was not it.
“Jamie. Why does that even matter? We’re going to be married in a year. Do you even realize the looks you’ll get for that? Especially in the journalism industry, where everyone’s scrutinizing everything you do, and what you wear, or how you look?”
Jamie remembered staring into the face of the man she loved and finding an intensely masked look of disgust.
“Shit, Jamie. They already say you’re too tall, too big to be on TV, and you’re not even out of school yet. Just tell people you’re straight. We’re getting married, no one will know.”
Jamie came back to the present, looking down at her hands that had stilled while spreading butter over the slices of bread. She could feel the tears burning at the back of her eyes, and she attempted to swallow around the lump that had formed in her throat.
Slowly, she set the bread and knife down, then stepped back. She reachedher arms overhead, stretching until her fingers floated and her feet pressed firmly into the floor. She focused on every inch of her body, grounding herself in the now.
She took two deep breaths and opened her eyes.
She wasn’t that girl anymore.
Jamie had done the work on herself to undo the years of constant belittling Dylan had inflicted on her; even still, she found that there were some moments where she had to fully exit her brain before she could return, and grounding techniques like the stretch she’d just performed helped.
But Jamie couldn’t shake the thought that how she felt right now further cemented the fact that she wasn’t ready for any sort of relationship.
Seven
Erin’s head fell against her pillow, her back arching toward the ceiling fan spinning lazily above her. She squeezed her eyes shut, chasing the last wave of sensation from the dream still lingering in her body. Her left hand twitched against the sheets as she exhaled a soft, shaky breath.
A breath of cool air swept across her skin, making her eyes snap open. She blinked up at the ceiling, heart still racing, her body slow to come down. In her mind’s eye, she could still see them, those green eyes looking back at her.
They were the only clear detail, but they stayed with her.
She groaned, dragging a hand down her face and reaching blindly for her phone on the nightstand.
6:23.
There was no going back to sleep now. She let the phone fall to her chest and flung her arms out to either side of her. The perk of living alone meant sprawling out in the middle of the bed with no one to fight for the blankets.
A heavy sigh came from the foot of the bed, tugging a smile from the corner of her mouth.
Propping herself up on her elbows, she looked toward the gray and white pit bull still curled up near her feet.
“Good morning, Handsome… how’d you sleep, bub?”
Leo yawned before stretching out his back legs, then trotted up to nuzzle against her side. Erin let out a small grunt as he flopped against her, pressing his full weight into her ribs.
“Jeez, Leo… what have you been eating?”
His tail thumped against the comforter in a steady rhythm as she wrappedan arm around him, burying her face briefly in the soft fur between his ears.
“Are you ready to go outside?”
Leo jumped to all fours, nearly crushing Erin in the process. With a laugh, she began to pull the covers off her body as he bounded out into the living room.
Erin tugged a black hoodie on over her sleep shirt and glanced toward the window to see if sweats were necessary.
“Hey, mister,” she called, just loud enough to carry into the next room. Leo trotted happily back into the bedroom. “Can you get your leash?”
Leo took off again, eager to retrieve his lead, one of his favorite tasks of the day. Erin grabbed the yellow sweats from the arm of the chair by her closet door and pulled them on quickly.
