“Yes, yes,” Maya said, and they each said, “I love you.”
And while the summer was coming to a close, Lily thought the love they had declared during it was endless.
39
HANNA
This was it. Hanna stared up at her kitchen ceiling as she waited for the moment her parents would come home. Nerves wracked her, and while she knew her girls would be there for her no matter what, she had insisted that she needed to talk to them alone. Maya and Lily would be there for her after, no matter the outcome of the conversation.
She didn’t expect for everything to be fixed, not really, but Hanna had realized justhow muchshe and her family didn’t talk about. The unspoken walls between them. This had just been the thing that, when she’d pulled it out into the open, had destabilized everything else and brought it all crashing down. It would take a long time for them to sort through the mess. But at the end of the day, these were Hanna’s parents, and she wanted to at least give them theoptionto make it right before she went off to Providence.
She’d texted them the night before to say she’d be waiting for them after church. She and her father had texted back and forth; namely he’d wanted to make sure she was somewhere safe. She hadn’t heard from her mother, but she assumed her father was acting as their go-between.
Hanna had avoided her parents over the next couple of weeks by essentially living at the Blake’s. She hadn’t seen her parents since Lily’s birthday dinner. Instead, along with Lily and Maya, she’d gone by the house one Sunday when she knew her parents would be at church and grabbed the things she needed. Since the treehouse really wasn’t suitable for full-time living, she, along with Maya, piled into Lily’s room.
Maya wasn’t really in the same boat. She and her mom spent dinners together talking and sharing, and then Maya would come back to the Blake’s and climb in between Hanna and Lily—just the way they liked it. Diana didn’t seem to mind; if anything, it was like she understood.
As if to distract them, Lily had been presenting Hanna and Maya with various potential apartments, asking them to pick their top three. She was adamant that the final choice would be a surprise.
“You both have a lot going on, let me take care of the home, as your soft masc housewife,” Lily had said, making Maya and Hanna laugh.
Hanna’s heart startled and a pit bloomed in her stomach as she heard the sound of a slamming car door. She looked from the ceiling to the microwave on the counter: 12:43pm. Right on time. She waited in anticipatory silence. It wasn’t far from the car to the front door; Hanna suspected her father and mother were prepping on the doorstep before coming in.
She hoped her father was talking some sense into her mother. He was often a quiet but strong presence in the house. If her mother was the captain of their ship, her father was the wind in the sails. She’d never seen him angry or even raise his voice before Lily’s birthday dinner. It seemed though, with people who were of few words, when they did speak, you listened, for they made them count.
Hopefully they would today.
Hanna heard the jingle of the bells her parents kept around the handle of the front door, the telltale sign they’d entered the space.
“Hanna?”
Hanna was surprised to hear that it was her mother calling out for her. “In the kitchen,” she called back.
There was a pause, some rustling as they took off their shoes, her father dropping his keys into the dish as he had for as long as Hanna could remember, her mother putting her purse next to that very dish. Same every time.
It wasn’t long before she was staring at both of her parents as they entered the kitchen. Her mother wore her signature low bun and a multicolored coral dress that fell modestly to her knees. Her father was in his usual slacks and button-down, even in the August heat.
“Do you–do you want lunch,” her mother started, her voice shaky with what Hanna knew were nerves. This was uncharted territory for them, they’d never had to have a tough conversation witheach otherbefore. “We ate at church, but I can?—”
“It’s okay Mom, I grabbed something earlier with Maya and Lily,” she said the names of her two girlfriends defiantly. She watched her mother swallow and her father set a hand on her shoulder as he walked them both over to the kitchen table.
The table was a rectangle, and so her parents sat opposite Hanna. Hanna had never felt that the table was particularly big, but now it seemed obscenely small. She removed her hands from the top and dipped them in her lap to create some space.
“So, thanks for letting me come say goodbye,” Hanna started. She had tried to rehearse what she was going to say with Maya and Lily, but in the end, decided to go off vibes. The situation was too unpredictable.
“Hanna, this isn’t goodbye,” her mother’s voice was at the high pitch she used when she was momentarily shocked.
“Well I mean, before I leave for Providence,” Hanna offered.
“So you’re going then?” her mother asked.
Hanna stared back at her.
“Mary,” her father’s deep voice seemed to float out of him and attempt to fill the space between them.
“Mom, of course I’m going, I got a job I’m excited about and I get to be with two people I love.”
At the last part her mother scoffed. “You’re young, you —”
