“It was so fucking awful,” Lily agreed solemnly.
Hanna continued, “Providence could be interesting. Still it’s so much easier to navigate new queer spaces when you’re a dude, a white dude. Also, not only do you have two girlfriends, you have two non-white girlfriends.” Though Maya knew that while being heckled by straight men was annoying, there was a certain amount of privilege all three of their fairly femme presentations lent them.
“Well I never like anything the easy way, and I always like to go big or go home,” Lily joked.
Hanna had smiled. Maya had smiled too, but she couldn’t help but know all too well what Hanna was voicing.
After a beat of silence Lily said, “Seriously though, is this something that is–are you both super worried? We can always wait and get to somewhere like New York, or...”
“No way, it’ll be everywhere Lily, you can’tdoanything, but you can be there for us, which you are. We have each other,and I get to come home to you both. That’s what I want,” Maya reassured her.
“Same,” Hanna agreed.
Maya could see Lily’s face fall slightly, that feeling of helplessness Maya had seen on her mother’s face from time to time. “Besides, I seriously may pursue writing at some point. You know, an impossibly lucrative profession,” Maya said to lighten the mood.
“I’ll be your sugar momma,” Lily had joked.
They still would have a lot to figure out, but the last two months had been great. Maya knew they were aligned in giving this whole ‘thing’ a chance. Every day they seemed to grow more and more accustomed to being with one another. According to all the blogs and a very informative Reddit thread, they were still headed for dicey poly territory, but they had gotten way better at communicating. Lily and Hanna especially—Hanna was sometimes still a brat, but that was okay. Lily and Maya liked her that way.
They still hadn’t told their parents. It was something Hanna was incredibly nervous about–she hadn’t even told her parents about her bisexuality, let alone the fact that she had two girlfriends with whom she was moving to Providence, RI. Maya and Lily had promised her that they wouldn’t say anything, though it was getting a bit difficult with the amount of time they currently spent over at Lily’s. Maya supposed maybe all the parents involved thought they’d just developed a really strong friendship.
Besides, Maya noticed her mother was distracted lately. Pleasantly distracted, but distracted nonetheless. Perhaps her mother had a secret lover of her own and she was working out how to tell Maya. Maya hoped so. She was afraid her mother would be devastated over her father for a long time, which is why she still hadn’t mentioned that the last time she’d spoken withher father on the phone she overheard the voice of someone in the background. It had sounded…intimate, and had left both her and her father very flustered and in a hurry to get off the phone.
Maya wasn’t sure what Providence would bring, but they had talked it over and each made sure that the move would still be beneficial to their individual goals. Maya couldn’t wait to sleep next to her two lovers every night and wake up to them every morning.
Maya paddeddown the hallway outside her room and made her way downstairs to the kitchen. The house her mother had purchased was cute, a classic small New England colonial, two bedrooms and two bathrooms. It was periwinkle with blue shutters, a bit of overkill in the sense that it had anactualwhite picket fence. Maya was convinced that had been the true selling point of the home for Maggie, who truly had “white picket fence” dreams. It was part of the reason Maya thought she was having such a hard time with the divorce. Maya wasn’t convinced that it was the fact that she and herfatherhadn't worked out, but that hermarriagehadn’t worked out in general.
“Oh? And are you going to make it worth my while if I do?” Her mother’s voice floated down the hall from the kitchen. The idea to slow her movements came too late; Maya entered, still heavy-footed from sleep.
Her mother’s face flushed. “Um, let me text you,” her mother said quickly and then ended her call, placing the phone face down on the small kitchen island.
Busted.
“Don’t end your conversation on my account,” Maya said, smirking at her mother.
“Oh, I just–I didn’t realize you were home! I thought you were at Lily’s again.”
“Oh? Should I consider myself lucky that I just stumbled upon a flirty conversation and not something else?”
“It was not flirty! I was just talking to a friend.” Her mother’s deeper flush betrayed her. “Anyway, um, breakfast? Should we go out or should…”
Maya decided to go easy on her mother. “Mom, you do know you’re allowed to date, you’re allowed to be happy again,” Maya said carefully. All joking aside, it had been a relief not to find her mother in a borderline catatonic state when she came home this time around.
“I know sweetie, it’s just um, new.”
Maya could tell her mother was not going to elaborate further. Which, considering she had yet to tell her anything about Lily and Hanna, was fair. All her mother knew was that she was going to Brown and had found roommates.
Her mother brushed an invisible crumb from the kitchen island. “Through this whole thing, I haven’t really said aloud how hard this has been for you. I just want you to know I see you, and I love you, and I am the luckiest woman in the world. I could never regret anything, because it led me to you. You know that, right?” The words came out in a bit of a rush, and her mother’s eyes grew glossy, making them look extra blue.
Her sincerity made Maya’s throat constrict. The thing is shedidknow, but she needed to hear it. “I know Mom, I know.”
Maggie smiled and then let out a small laugh. “Good,” she said, wiping at her eyes, “good, because I love the shit out of you.”
Maya laughed and embraced her mother. They sat there for a second before their limit on sappiness was reached.
“Let’s go out for breakfast,” Maya said decidedly, and her mother smiled.
32
