“We made it, let’s go see our girl,” Maya said.
Lily turned to her, unsurprised to find a smile on Maya’s full dark pink lips. She could hear it in Maya’s voice. They were about the same height, 5’7, but Maya seemed to stand a whole head taller in Lily’s eyes. God she was beautiful, sexy, smart, and way out of Lily’s league, if she were being honest. Hell, so was Hanna, but here they were.
Maya began moving from the driveway up the walkway, her curly brown hair pulled back into a high messy bun,accentuating her neck. It had been too long since Lily had kissed the spot where her neck met her back. So yeah, they were in fucking Florida, but they were all here together, and Lily couldn’t wait. She caught up to Maya and knocked on the door.
The door opened almost immediately to reveal Hanna, a few inches shorter than Lily and Maya, her dark straight hair loose around her shoulders and her red pouty lips smiling. Her big dark eyes were alive with excitement. Lily felt her own face mirror the sentiment.
“Welcome!” Hanna said, moving to the side to let them in.
“Hey! Lily was able to catch an earlier flight so you get double the fun right now!”
Maya entered the house and dropped her bag, scooping Hanna into her arms. Lily watched them for a moment, her girls, who weren’t really hers and probably never would be. She saw the way Hanna melted in Maya’s arms and the way Maya held her. She didn’t think she’d ever get tired of the sight, but something also niggled at her. She was split between a familiar loneliness, the fear of being just a shared experience between the two and the desire to pull both women into her arms. She decided to focus on the latter. She dropped her bag and tackled Hanna and Maya.
“Okay so youwant to go out tonight? Laze by that sick pool you have in the back tomorrow?” Lily asked between mouthfuls of fish taco. They’d ordered in almost immediately post hug—Lily knew she was a complete nightmare when she was hungry. Maya had tried to ply her with snacks in the Uber, but Lily called her snacks “junk food’s junk food,” and Maya called her a “junk food snob”.
“We can, but I don’t really know anywhere to go, I don’t come here often and when I do...”
“It’s with family?” Lily asked.
“Yeah well, yes. I mean, I looked up a few places, but all I could find were a bunch of gay bars in South Beach that seem pretty dude heavy.”
“Ah yes, that’s not surprising for Miami,” Lily began, “but no thang right? We’ll have each other. It really is about the atmosphere.”
“Yeah and it will be nice to be in a space where there aren’t bros thinking we’re trying to put on a ‘show’,” Maya added, rolling her eyes.
Lily nodded. It was one thing to be out with one other woman; she still got unwanted attention. Add in another, and everyone seemed to expect that they were performing and pandering for attention. Really they were just in their own world, and Lily was so happy to be back in it. She couldn’t wait for her favorite part: when they all fell asleep together in each other’s arms, often with Lily as the ultimate big spoon, holding both Maya and Hanna.
During winter break, something had clicked for her. It both intrigued and scared her. Mainly she was scared of the pang she felt each morning, when she woke up slightly apart from Maya and Hanna, wrapped around each other. This is why Lily didn’t typically do repeat hookups; she felt like she’d boarded a train knowing the track was out somewhere; she didn’t know how soon she’d find out, and the anticipation was killing her.
“Yeah okay, so how about this place?” Hanna said, giving Lily what she needed to push her anxious thoughts aside.
Lily looked up to see a Google page for a bar, “The Tank”, sporting rainbow lettering. “I’ll go anywhere with you ladies.” Lily swallowed, hoping no one noticed her face flush.
“Yeah, thanks for finding,” Maya said, and leaned over and kissed Hanna on the cheek.
Hanna beamed, and Lily envied Maya being the source of that smile.
“Get ready together?” Maya asked the table, getting up to clear the carnage that was dinner.
“Yes please!” Hanna said, grabbing the take-out containers from Maya and heading to the trash can. Watching them, they were so…domestic. Had they been spending more time together in Boston than Lily knew about? Tufts and Harvard weren’t that far from one another–closer than Sarah Lawrence, in any case.
Lily felt a warm hand slip into hers and squeeze.
“You okay?” Maya asked quietly.
“Yeah, just tired—but I’ll wake up with some music and drinks,” Lily hastily added.
Maya smiled back at her and brushed a kiss on her lips.
23
MAYA
Maya got in the Uber with Hanna and Lily followed. They’d gotten ready in record time, listening to early 2000s hits. Maya smiled to herself. She had been a little worried about this trip. Mainly because winter break had been a lot. Watching Lily and Hanna tiptoe around the feelings they had for each other filled her with a tension similar to watching her parents tiptoe around the feelings they’d lost for each other all last year. She loved both Lily and Hanna, but they had some shit they needed to work out: they both wanted and feared each other.
Maya almost tripped, figuratively pulling her thoughts up short. Sheloved both Hanna and Lily?
Maya knew that during winter break something had slid into place for her: they fit. What was surprising to her was that they fit equally. Differently, but with almost the same intensity. Maya had loved and lost, but she had never loved at the same time. What’s more, even with whatever was going on between Hanna and Lily, she’d been there in that cabin over break; she saw the way Lily tracked Hanna with her eyes, how Hannalit up whenever Lily entered the room. The way each woman desperately clung to Maya when they fucked.
