When she finally stops shaking, she collapses against me. Boneless. Exhausted.
"I felt it," she whispers. "I felt everything. It was so—I couldn't stop—"
"I know." I kiss her forehead, supporting her weight easily. "Your body works fine, little star. It just knows what it needs."
We stay locked together under the spray. My knot will take a few minutes to go down. But I don't mind. Just hold her. Let her catch her breath.
"Thank you," she says eventually. "For understanding. For not making me feel broken."
"You're not broken." I stroke her wet hair. "You're bonded. There's a difference."
"I need to talk to Ben. Need to end things for good. It's not fair to him."
"Tomorrow," I agree. "Tonight you just need to rest."
My knot finally releases, and I lower her carefully. Her legs are shaky, so I support her weight as I finish washing her. Getting rid of the last traces of Beta scent. Replacing it with pack.
When we're both clean, I turn off the water and grab towels. Dry her off carefully, thoroughly. She's still trembling slightly—aftershocks from the orgasm.
"That was..." She trails off. "I didn't know it could be that intense."
"That's what happens when your body gets what it actually needs." I wrap her in a towel. "Not what you think you should want. What you actually need."
"I need you." She looks up at me. "All of you. Pack. I hate that my body made that choice without asking. But I can't pretend anymore that it's not true."
"Good." I kiss her softly. "Because we're not letting you go. Any of us."
I help her into sleep clothes—one of Dorian's shirts, my boxers. Pack scent all over her now. Safe. Protected. Ours.
"Sleep," I tell her, guiding her to bed. "We'll deal with everything else tomorrow."
"Will you stay?" Her voice is small. Vulnerable.
"Of course." I climb in beside her, pulling her close.
She curls into me, and within minutes her breathing evens out. Exhausted. Finally at peace.
I stay awake a little longer. Making sure the Beta scent is really gone. Making sure pack dynamics won't explode in the morning.
But mostly just holding her. Grateful that I could give her what she needed. That I understood in a way the others might not have.
Sometimes the worst part isn't being used.
It's being used when your body won't cooperate. When you can't give what's being asked for. When you feel fundamentally broken.
I'm glad I could show her she's not broken.
She's just bonded.
And there's nothing wrong with that at all.
thirty-three
Vespera
I'vebeenavoidingBen.
Not hard, considering he's been avoiding me too. We pass each other in hallways with careful distance. In Scene Study, we work on our assigned scenes with professional courtesy and zero eye contact. At lunch, one of us always has a convenient excuse to be somewhere else.
